


An After Death Predicament

by Lezzalee



Category: Arrow - Fandom
Genre: Barry Allen & Felicity Smoak Friendship, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5206655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lezzalee/pseuds/Lezzalee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes places after Oliver's fall in 309 and then diverts. After a new strain of Vertigo is found, Felicity decides that the team should keep up Oliver's mission, but certain events test her sanity and emotional well being. What will Oliver come back to after his recovery? Olicity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been two weeks since Malcolm visited the lair. Crime had been at an all time high. It seemed Starling City's thugs could just smell the lack of green leather in the air. Somehow they were all out of the woodwork, and the team needed to assemble again.  
They had grieved for Oliver all in their own way. Diggle spent time with Lyla and baby Sara. Roy took out his aggression on street thugs. Felicity sat at her computer. With some mint chip.  
Of course she had already cried more tears than she thought possible. The ache and hollow place in her chest was still there, but now she'd come to a slight moment of acceptance.   
After her outburst in the lair, she let out all that emotion at home, and at work. Diggle called her every day to check up on her, and she loved those calls. He missed her. She missed him. She missed her team. She missed Oliver.  
That's why when her tablet let off an alert one day, 13 days after Malcolm's visit, she same to a decision. Oliver might be gone, but she'd keep his mission alive. 

Dig was surprised to see her calling him for once, "Well this is unexpected".  
There was a slight pause. Then she replied, "foundry? Eight o'clock?" It was a question but there was a resolve behind it.  
Diggle was confused at first, since her outburst made it clear she was done. But that had been two weeks ago, when the initial shock of Oliver's death rocked the team.  
"Yeah. Eight sounds good."  
Felicity smiled into the phone, "bring some big belly, it's going to be a long night."  
"Yes ma'am"  
}------->  
Felicity heard Roy's heavy foot falls as he climbed down the stairs. She was typing away furiously.  
"Just one more check... There. If Malcolm manages to infiltrate again, I swear I'll hand back my MIT diploma." She turned her chair to Roy. "You're uncharacteristically punctual."  
"Well when you called, you sounded like you were on a mission--"   
"C'mon Roy," Dig said approaching from the stairs, "your only here early because you were getting dinner."  
Felicity smiled slightly. It was good to see them. It felt good to have a purpose. "You get them then?" Diggle went to hold up the bags when Roy threw a small plastic bag on her computer table. Confused, Dig grabbed the bag, "Why is Roy bringing you Vertigo?"  
Roy scoffed, "yeah and that's the reason I wasn't late."  
Felicity got up from her chair.   
"So I've decided that I'm not ready to let this go. Oliver's mission, that is. I still want to help the city, I want the team to keep saving the city. He's gone. But we are still here, and if his mission lives on, then so does he."  
Diggle and Roy looked at each other. They knew she was still grieving. That part of her still carried some denial. They knew, especially Diggle, that if Felicity wasn't going to throw herself into working, then she was going to fall apart. This is what she needed, but they needed it too.  
Roy spoke first, "well you know I'm in. Mask or no mask, I'd be pummeling thugs anyway." The other two good- naturedly rolled their eyes. Dig went next, "you know, I had to make this choice when Oliver first reached out to me. Either I'm still crazy, or it's still the right thing to do."  
"Good, because we have lots of work to do." Felicity sat back down and turned to her computer.   
It was good that they were all on the same page, she thought. They didn't have Oliver anymore so they'd after to approach things as methodically and cautious as possible. Between Dig and Roy, they had great survival training, and her technical expertise.  
Roy interrupted her thoughts between bites of French fries. "So the Vertigo?"  
Dig quickly interjected before she could respond, "I thought Zietel was in prison?" His hands sat on his hips and he looked up confused.  
Felicity quickly answered spinning away from them. "He is. I checked Iron heights prisoner database after an alert went off. Vertigo has again flooded the streets. But he's in there." She moved aside to show them streaming camera footage from the prison. She continued, "I've scrubbed the footage and gone through the visitor logs, there's nothing that could warrant Vertigo being distributed. So I had Roy score us some to test."  
"Maybe there is something that could tell us about how it's getting out there again?" Roy asked.  
Felicity started typing again, "these are the ingredients from Zietel's version of Vertigo. The one that Oliver got injected with that shows you your worst fears. We test this new sample against the old..."  
"We start piecing together some new clues." Dig finished.  
}------>  
Testing the new sample took a few days. In the time they spent waiting, nights were spent in the foundry training, or patrolling. One requisite of their continued mission was that Felicity had to start some self defense with either her or Roy. She hated this part of the deal. Normally she was very good at anything she did. So when she didn't excel quickly at something, she was very frustrated. Her technique was very good, fighting wise, but she couldn't get past their strength. That's why she didn't have a problem with injecting Slade with the mirakuru cure or giving the smack down to Cooper. They were distracted, and she outwitted them. But fighting with someone physically strong and using their strength against her was taking a toll on her psyche. She ached when Dig threw her down for the fifth time. "you have to use my weight against me, if you push back, it's not going to get you anywhere." Dig admonished. He hated injuring her in these lessons as much as she hated being sore and breathless, but it was the only way she would learn.  
"Let's go again," she said as she got up.  
"Why don't we take a break," Dig said right before a ding from an alert made the decision for them. Felicity rounded to her station. "The results from the Vertigo sample came back. There are similar ingredients from Zeital's version but there are a couple differences including chlorpromazine."  
"Isn't that the antipsychotic that we used to track Count Vertigo's sample back to the asylum?"  
"Indeed it is. Which I guess means that we are looking for someone operating out of asylum again. I can check the medication usage of some asylums to see if there's a suspicious amount being used...ohh..."  
"Felicity..."  
"Well this is not at all local, but Arkham asylum just requested a huge amount of chlorpromazine and two other ingredients in the new Vertigo in the past 30 days."   
"You think that could be related? "It's far. I mean, whoever is manufacturing could easily just sell it in Gotham." Dig thought to himself for a moment, tapping his temple as he looked at the information.  
"I'll keep digging and monitoring Arkham's medical supplies. Maybe its just a coincidence." Felicity spun around toward Dig, "Go again?"  
Dig looked at her disapprovingly.  
"Felicity, its late. Roy already finished patrolling an hour ago, and these last couple days you've been nonstop between researching the samples and training."  
She looked down dejected but nodded, "You're right. Yeah. Tomorrow's another day."

Diggle nodded and walked to the bathroom to change. Felicity got up and made her way towards the mats where her water bottle and towel sat. She took a sip as she paced, waiting for Dig to vacate the bathroom. She stood by the displayed arrows. It hit her again just like during Malcolm's visit. She felt the void in her chest grow again as she stared at the arrows. Tears swelled in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She couldn't or she'd break again. She heard Dig approach from behind her but she didn't turn.   
Dig placed a hand on her shoulder. "I miss him too. No one would blame you if you needed more time." She shook her head and turned slowly, "If I stop again, I don't know that I'll ever stop mourning him. At least this keeps me feeling close to him."  
"He'd want you to be happy."  
Felicity scoffed, "I know, but I don't see that happening for awhile. But what I can do is find where this Vertigo is coming from. He'd want that after Thea, maybe even after..." She trailed. Flashes came to mind of sitting in her office, zip cuffed to her chair, and her hair being played with and pulled behind her. That night was particularly memorable.  
"You never talk about that night."  
Felicity broke out of the memory. She spoke quickly, "I'm not particularly proud that Oliver had to break his no killing oath."   
"That's not why you won't talk about it." Dig regarded her sternly.  
"You're right." She stepped back so Diggle's hand slid off her shoulder, "it's late". Her eyes holding a bit of steel. He held his hands up in surrender and backed away towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled slightly.  
Diggle turned back to her before heading up the stairs. It looked like he wanted to say something, one of Diggle's wise words, mostly reserved for Oliver's pigheaded stubbornness. But he stopped himself and instead just said, "goodnight."  
Felicity hated keeping his at arms length, she really did. But tonight everything was just frustrating. Her searches, her training, Dig bringing up memories she wish she could burn out of her mind. Instead of making her way to clean up like she had intended she went back to her computer and started digging again.   
}------>  
Three hours later she made more headway than she thought. She realized the thumping from the bass upstairs had stopped at some point so she looked at the time. It was well into the early morning. She haphazardly threw on her work clothes she had arrived in that evening. It was way too cold to just go out in her workout clothes even though her skirt and blouse offered only marginally more coverage. Closing the heavy alley door behind her she quickly made her way to her car. It was farther than normal since it was a Friday night and the club was busier than normal. She fumbled with her purse looking into her purse for her keys. What she wasn't expecting was the arm that grabbed her when she rounded the corner.   
She was swung into the brick side face of the building. Her head thudded against the wall painfully as she tried to get her bearings and remember her training. She swung an arm out haphazardly trying to find purchase on anything. But her hand was caught and there was a snicker. The fear she was trying to quell swelled further. There were two attackers.  
In the span of a few seconds there was one strong hand wrapped around her throat and another holding the fist she had swung above her head against the wall.  
As her faculties came back to her she scanned round quickly. There were two men. Both looked to be in their late twenties or early thirties. And while the one that held her against the wall didn't look as muscular as Diggle did, the strength that he was exhibiting was impressive. And scary, extremely scary. She tried her luck again at breaking his hold but to no avail.  
Her attacker tsked in her ear, "Where do you think you're going? Taking back alleys is probably not the smartest thing to do this late at night." He spoke slowly and coolly in her ear. She shivered not only from the intense cold in the air but also the bleak situation she found herself in. She tried to appear as docile as possible so that maybe he'd let up his grip since the offense she was failing to display wasn't working.   
He was speaking again, "Its too bad we weren't in the club, we could have danced..." His face became very close to hers and his body all but covered her left side. As upsetting as this was, it might be what she needed. He kept speaking but this time it wasn't directed at her, "What do you think, man? That outfit isn't really clubbing material but she still rocking it."   
While his face was tilted toward his friend, she put her plan in action. With a slow inhale her knee came up swiftly into her attackers groin. Surprised and in pain he doubled over, his eyes already reddened from the assault. His hands slackened enough that she broke free and tried to throw him into the other man. Which she did. For a split second she thought she was home free, doubling back to the foundry door which was closer than her car. But with the few steps she managed to take, her attackers gait was longer and quicker. Using the same move she managed to use on them, the man who had held her charged into her, taking her down, throwing himself on top of her. She landed roughly on the alley street, her face scraping on the pavement. It seemed that her attacker was growing impatient with her attempts to flee. Her ponytail was pulled from behind roughly and an instant later her head was slammed back hard into the pavement. Felicity almost lost consciousness right there. Her vision swam and their was a sharp ringing in her ears. The pain in her head seconded only to the full blown fear now welling up. She realized she was now on her back, her assailant straddling her. Her hands were now above her head with the other man holding them roughly. So overwhelmed by fear and pain, she hadn't realized she had been pleading with them to stop. Something was then thrust into her mouth with fingers pushing it hard to the back of her throat. The same hand then closed her jaw tight and In her struggle, she swallowed what was put in her mouth.   
Oh God they drugged me  
Hands where suddenly everywhere on her body. They were tearing at her blouse, her skirt was being hiked up. Her legs were useless as he sat heavily on her and used his shins to keep her in check.   
The combination of whatever they drugged her with, her fear, and her head still pounding furiously, Felicity turned her head into her arm and willed her mind to escape.   
It was all so much. Oliver. Part of her could imagine not being afraid because she knew that no matter what he would save her. He always saved her. But not this time. He couldn't save her ever again.   
"You can call me Oliver if you'd like," her attacker sneered above her. Apparently she had said his name out loud.  
Everything felt like it took so much effort now. The drug was definitely in full affect and it had only been a minute at most. Their hands were still moving and she could feel one particularly scraping up her thighs and darting under her panties.   
Just then, she heard something, even though it sounded far away in her ears.   
"Holy...Thea stay inside. Call the police. Go. Now!"  
The two men suddenly panicked. Above her in their haste they became clumsy. Their hands were gone. And what sounded like a struggle to her side was fuzzy.  
What seemed like awhile later there was a voice again, "Felicity? Felicity! Shit!"   
There was a soft hand against her neck and then another loud noise.  
"I'm sorry! I just want to feel your pulse. Can I?" Roy asked his hands raised away from her.  
Felicity realized then that the loud nose was her scream. She was so tired, her head was so fuzzy but the panic was still there. She nodded, trying to hold herself together.   
Roy slowly placed his hand back on her pulse point on her neck and she cringed but otherwise didn't move. She then remembered something important, "I'm....they...drugged me."  
She tried to look at him clearly but her head and eyes wouldn't cooperate.   
Roy looked lost in her haze. He looked around quickly and then back at her, "Felicity, I want to bring you back into the club. I know you probably don't want me touching you right now, but do you think I can pick you up?   
She looked at him as best she could. He had a determined face on but it was soft in compassion.  
He spoke again when she hadn't answered. "I will not hurt you. I promise."  
It took her a second to remember her trust in him but she did. She nodded, her head still so heavy.  
He spoke to her as he pulled her into his arms, even as he was walking to the door. His voice was comforting and she tried to push past her panic. She couldn't keep track of everything he said but she did make out, "You're going to be ok," and "the police are on their way."  
That sent her into another panic as Roy opened the side door. But he was still speaking, this time not to her, "Thea! Come over here."   
"No police....no hospital, please." She was trying to speak louder, but her throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton. They were still walking, why hadn't he set her down yet? She heard Thea's voice then, "Roy what happened? Who is that? Oh my God, is that Ollie's.....Felicity right? Is she ok?"   
Roy was speaking quickly again, "Did you call? They can't come in here. Call them back and say there was a disturbance but they've gone"   
Thea was protesting, "What!? Roy looks at her! And those men? You can't just let them--"   
"Thea!"  
Thea stopped but looked at him like he was crazy. Roy took a deep breath, "you have to trust me right now. Please."  
Thea looked from him to Felicity. She nodded, "Ok," and started to call. Roy was still walking as she heard Thea in the background on the phone. A few seconds later she was next to Roy again. "Ok, it's done...where are you going?"   
Felicity heard the familiar chimes of the lock that went down to the lair.  
"Thea, I know you're going to be pissed but I need to help her right now, I'll explain everything later."   
They were down the stairs now and Roy was throwing the light on. Felicity couldn't see Thea's face right then but she heard a light gasp from behind them. She was placed on a cold surface. She tried to move her head but the back of her head was sticky and her neck was incredibly stiff. She tried to open her eyes but the lids felt so heavy.  
"I have to call Diggle, I need you to keep her awake, ok. Thea! Please." Then there was a hand on her arm. Felicity startled, and her eyes flew open for a second until she saw Thea. She relaxed slightly, her eyes fighting with her eyelids to stay open.  
"Felicity, everything is going to be ok. Roy's calling for help." Thea talked to her shakily, her hand still on her arm. She liked the warmth it emitted. She was suddenly so cold. The table was also shaking, which made her head throb. Was it her that was shaking?  
Thea's hand left her arm and she was suddenly very afraid again.  
"It's ok, it's ok, I'm here" Thea's voice was stronger this time, gentler. And then she felt something draped over her torso, and Thea's hand which now slid into her own.  
She felt warmer and safer for the moment, her heavy lids winning the battle and closing once more.

}------>  
Felicity was jarred awake by a harsh smell and some very loud voices.   
"How long was just out? How long has she been bleeding for?" That was Diggle. He sounded incredibly worried but was in full doctor mode.  
"Maybe 10 minutes, she passed out right after I called you." Roy was there above her as well.  
"I'm sorry! I tried to keep her up!" Thea sounded incredibly guilty, panic lacing her voice.  
Then one of her eye lids were forced open and a light shown directly at her. She flailed at once, then was trying to flee. There was too much going on.   
"Whoa whoa, it's ok, it's just me, it's Dig. I need to check you." She looked around to see the three of them all looking at her with varying degrees of distress and anguish. Thea came around to her, and slowly reached out her hand. Felicity's eyes followed it to her own and let her grab it again. She looked back up to Diggle and nodded. The fight suddenly drained out of her. Not letting go of her hand, Thea came up to her side and eased her back onto the med table. Diggle ever so slowly reached her face and checked on her, gently maneuvering it from side to side.   
He finished assessing her head and then his eyes moved lower. He looked up to where Felicity was watching his every move and silently asked for permission.  
She nodded slightly, now feeling somewhat more embarrassed than fearful in the moment. Diggle removed what appeared to be Thea's coat from where she draped it on her. Suddenly Diggle's eyes were murderous. He glanced back up at her and his eyes softened. Roy appeared at his side with some towels. When he caught site of her, his jaw clenched down, the muscles tightening in his neck. Dig was talking to Roy softly, but she heard it, "did he..."   
Roy shook his head, "I don't think so but..."  
Felicity spoke up as loud as she could muster, "Roy made it in time."  
Roy's hands went up to his head and Diggle took a deep breath. Thea's hand squeezed hers just slightly.  
Roy started speaking again, "She said they drugged her."   
Dig turned his attention back to Felicity, "hey... " he spoke very softly, "did the grab you when you were leaving." She nodded slowly, "I didn't see them as I rounded the corner. I tried to fight back but they were too strong" she was starting to get upset. Diggle shushed her, "relax relax...we are here and we'll take care of you."  
He addressed Roy again, "from the signs she's displaying, and how quick it seems this all happened, it sounds as if they gave her a cocktail of Rohypnol and possibly some sort of ketamine. Although even that wouldn't have been so quick." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "She may not remember anything tomorrow....or rather, later today. Well just have to see. We'll need to stitch her head, but first we need to get her warm and clean. We'll need to get her in the shower"  
Her eyes were wide again, even though her body felt like it weighed a ton. Thea spoke up, "I'll take her." They wheeled the med table as close to the bathroom as possible.   
Diggle helped her up slightly but let Thea do most of the handling. He was trying to not panic her as much as possible. Luckily there was a bench in the shower. Thea deposited her on the bench and then started the shower, making sure to get a comfortable temperature. Diggle knocked softly on the side of the shower, but never entered, "I found some clothes." There was a pause and a sigh, "it was all I could find. I called laurel and asked her to bring you some stuff, she'll be here in an hour or so." He turned and left.  
Felicity was still shaking slightly, her limbs heavy and everything aching. Thea gently spoke again, "do want help with your clothes? Felicity didn't want help, but she knew she needed it. She could barely lift her head off her chest. She nodded.  
Very carefully Thea went about removing her clothes. She unbuttoned her blouse and and peeled it off her. She maneuvered her slightly to lift her skirt up, unzipped the side and lifted it off instead of making her stand. She turned her slightly to keep some of her modesty and unclipped her bra and took it off while remaining in back of her.   
There was a pause. Then again Thea was moving. Felicity felt her hands at the side of her hip and then quickly at the front and her underwear was lifted from behind her. Felicity's cheeks flushed at the thought of Thea having to rip her panties off but as the same time she was happy to be rid of them. Hopefully they'd burn all her clothes.  
"Ok here comes the spray," as she swirled the jet toward the bench. The water felt warm and comforting. It stung a little where it met the cuts on her head but she was almost too numb to care. Thea found some soap and a towel and gently wiped away the grime from the night. Felicity just stared at the bathroom tile feeling heavy and numb. When she was clean, the water was shut and a towel was draped over her shoulders and lap. After patting her down a bit, Thea went to get the clothes Diggle brought her. A gray T-shirt, and boxer briefs. They were Oliver's. Felicity couldn't hold it together after that, she started sobbing uncontrollably. Thea's arms wrapped around her as she sunk to the shower floor. And that's where they stayed until Felicity passed out a few minutes later.

}------>


	2. Chapter 2

When Felicity woke up again, things were very confusing. She didn't feel like she had slept well by any means and would probably still be sleeping if it weren't for a few reasons. First, it seemed like every part of her was sore. She mused that she had trained harder with Diggle than she ever thought possible.   
Maybe it wasn't that surprising. You can't really expect a light workout from someone with the arms the size of bowling balls. Maybe she'd stick to sparring with Roy....  
"Hey..." A voice from beside her called her from her internal ramble. This time she really looked around. She was in the lair, which was odd nice she remembered leaving last night.  
And that was it.  
"How are you feeling?" Diggle was the voice next to her.   
She lifted her head off the couch and began to sit up when her head began to pound. She winced slightly, "what happened?" She was so disorientated, why couldn't she remember why she was there? She tried to think back to the evening but it seemed far away. "I think you really handed me my ass last night. Not that you touched my ass, or at least not on purpose..." She tried to stretch her sore limbs but it was incredible painful.  
She looked back to Diggle. His jaw was tight and he was staring down at his feet. Normally she got a chuckle or at least interrupted from her rambles.  
She tried again, "Dig, you're starting to scare me..." Her statement got cut off when she tried to prop her palm down to lean forward. A shot of pain went up her arm, and she made a sharp cry of pain. Diggle scrambled to help her but when his hand reached her wrist, she shrieked again, this time in fear. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. What was happening? She was so confused. This was Dig, why did she suddenly feel terrified. Diggle's face was panicked with a hint of self loathing, his hands now away from her and raised in front of him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."  
Felicity again looked around and this time spotted Roy and Thea on the opposite end of the room looking on at them in worry. Thea? "Thea's down here?" she was panicking again. There was too much that wasn't making sense and it seemed she was at the forefront of it all.   
"Felicity," Diggle said to grab her attention once again. He paused quickly to collect himself and then went on, "You were attacked last night when you were leaving the Foundry."  
The pain in her head was raging and she was looking down at herself now. Her arms were littered with bruises and scrapes. Her wrist that strung so badly was a deep purple and surrounding the bruise were smaller marks. They surrounded her entire wrists. She then realized they were hand prints. Her heart beat faster, "Why can't I remember?" She didn't know what was more troubling, the state of her body or the fact that she couldn't recall how it happened.  
"You were drugged. It seems like it was a combination of Rohypnol and possibly Ketamine, although we won't know for sure until we test your blood. It was fast acting, you were incapacitated almost immediately."  
"How do you know that?" she asked trying to piece it all together.  
"You told us."   
Felicity looked at him again and then around to Roy and Thea again. Dig continued, "Roy and Thea were closing up the club when they found you outside with them." Felicity tried to remain calm as he spoke, "He scared off the guys and then brought you in. He said you didn't want to go to the hospital so he had no choice but to bring you down here." he paused again. "Thea knows. We gave her a short verison." She knew the last part was referring to the foundry, the Arrow, and the team. She closed her eyes, "Does she know about Oliver?" She looked up at Diggle, who seemed less than pleased, "Roy told her where he went and that he's missing now. He didn't have the heart to tell her, and under the circumstances... Well, I guess I can't say I completely blame him."  
She digested all that before speaking again, "The men....did they....was...I..." She couldn't quiet fathom what she was saying.   
"You told us that Roy made it in time," he said softly and made to go for her hand but then thought better of it.   
Felicity released a breath she didn't know she was holding. Relief flooded through her. She started feeling like she imagined something far worse than what had happened, although she didn't know how much they weren't telling her. Her mind still raced with unanswered questions, "Will I ever remember what happened?   
Diggle blew out a breath, "I honestly don't know. Most people who have been roofied don't. But you had more than one drug in your system and I don't know how that will interact. I don't know that I'd want you to remember..." Diggle's eyes looked at her like he couldn't get past what he had seen, "when Roy called, and then when I got here....I'd never seen you like that." His eyes were lost in memories, but then he came back to himself and continued, "We cleaned you up and I stitched two cuts on your head, front and back, although the one in your hairline was worse. You bled a lot, and even though head wounds bleed more than most, we gave you some blood. It probably cleaned out your system faster than it would have done on its own. Other than that, you don't have any major injuries, just a lot of angry bruising." He fiddled with his hands as he tried to remain clinical.  
It was very unlike Dig. She found herself wanting to comfort him. She went to reach for his face and he looked a little relieved. She palmed the side of his face, "I'm ok. Thank you for taking care of me."  
Dig shook his head slightly, "Since the beginning when we brought you into this, I always thought you could get hurt on the job. I guess I thought at least we'd...I'd be there to protect you."  
Felicity took her hand back and looked down at her lap. It sounded like an argument she could have posed to Oliver. He was always so worried about her being hurt because of what he did. She stopped that train of thought quickly and started to get up. Diggle went to help her up but as his hand came to steady her, she flinched. His hands retracted quickly. Felicity looked up at him confused again, "What is with me?"  
"You've been through a trauma. Your mind is trying to protect you."  
"But you didn't do anything..."  
"It doesn't matter. Your not comfortable with people touching you right now."   
Felicity was confused, "But I touched you before. I was fine."  
"You touched me, not the other way around," Dig looked sympathetic, "Look. It just happened, give your body and mind a chance to heal."  
She nodded and started to walk toward where Roy and Thea were standing. Now that she was on her feet, she could feel just how much her body went through. Her muscles were incredibly stiff and ached like they'd never ached before.   
When she reached Roy and Thea, she gave them a small smile, "hey guys."  
They returned her smile even though it was strained. Thea spoke first, "how are you feeling?"  
"I feel like I could be feeling a whole lot worse if it wasn't for you two," she looked at each of them for a long moment, tears welling in her eyes, "Thank you." There wouldn't have been enough words to express how truly thankful she was. Thea's eyes were watery when she looked back at her, and Roy smiled at her again, although something in his expression was still tight.   
After that it seems no one knew what to say next so Felicity excused herself. Roy walked away quickly as she approached the bathroom. He met her at the door, "Laurel brought these for you, they're Thea's...she didn't feel comfortable about going to your apartment without you knowing". In his hand she held a bag. She reached for the strap he was holding, but instead of handing it off to her he set it down in front of her. Her cheeks reddened slightly. She hated that they were handling her with kid gloves but she appreciated the thoughtfulness none the less.  
Closing the door behind her, she took another deep breath. She braced herself as she turned to see what she looked at in the mirror. What reflected back made her flinch. There was a sewn cut protruding from her hairline and down into her forehead that was an angry pink with brushing around it. Besides that, her left cheek bone was bruised and red, small scrapes surrounding the area. There was some small bruises on either side of her neck which looked to be from hand marks again. She started to strip off the shirt she wore. She tried to ignore the fact that it was clearly Oliver's. Unsuccessfully. After she pulled it off her head she brought it to her nose and inhaled. It still smelled like him. The musky scent made her eyes water again. What she wouldn't give for him to be here right now. She stripped off the boxers as well and took a long look at her self in the mirror. Her arms were the worst with bruises, but several littered her torso mostly around her stomach, hips and upper thighs. She shivered and was partly glad she couldn't remember what happened. Her back was worse with larger bruises. It looked like she might be been thrown to the floor from what she saw. It definitely looked worse than she expected it to.   
She looked in the bag. Laurel had brought her comfortable clothes to wear, a toothbrush and tooth paste, and a couple toiletries. She silently thanked her while she brushed her teeth. Her mouth had been so dry and acrid, probably from the drugs.   
After she had cleaned herself up and changed into the long sleeve tee and yoga pants she went back out to the others.  
"What time is it anyway? She inquired.  
Diggle responded, " it's seven o'clock."  
That seemed so early to her, but Diggle continued, "p.m. You were out for awhile, but we were expecting that with the drugs."   
"I feel like I can still sleep for a week," she said as she started putting her sneakers from her work out bag on. She paused and took a breath. Her back ached, likely were there was some of the more severe bruising. She looked up at Diggle once more, "the men...?" She didn't really want to know. It would only make it more real, but something told her that it was important that she'd ask.  
Diggle schooled his features before answering, "We're taking care of that. You don't have to worry about them." Felicity just stared at him, biting her lip. She didn't know what they had planned. For a second she thought maybe she'd offer to help but knew that Dig would never allow that. She nodded, "I'm going to go home."  
Diggle shook his head, "I don't think that's a good idea."  
She was gearing up to protest but Diggle went on, "We're still not positive what went into your system and at the very least you have a concussion." He looked at her sternly but she still wasn't sure... "Dig, you were hardly home last night and I'm not going to impose on Lyla, especially with the baby..."   
"You can stay with me." It was Thea, "Roy will go home tonight and you can come to my loft. There's plenty of room."  
Felicity sighed, it seemed like she wasn't getting out of it, "Fine."  
"It's settled," Dig nodded, "c'mon, I'll take you home to get some stuff and I'll drive you to Thea's."


	3. Chapter 3

Standing at the front door of Thea's loft made Felicity feel many emotions. Extremely awkward was at the forefront. The thought of Oliver's baby sister watching over her after their only brief interactions was incredibly awkward. And she just found out he was the Arrow. Not to mention he was dead. Which she actually couldn't mention. After she was horrifically assaulted outside her club and couldn't remember.   
That kind of awkward.  
But Diggle was resolved that she couldn't be alone that night. So here they were, Diggle knocking on the door while she awkwardly looked down at her bag of stuff they brought back from her apartment.  
Thea came to the door relatively quickly, "Hey, c'mon in." They both entered and Thea led them to the couch in front of the fireplace. Diggle set down her bag and gave Felicity a once over, then he looked back at Thea, "She's going to need something to eat".  
Felicity glanced up at him slightly irritated, "she is standing right here".  
Diggle looked properly remorseful, "Sorry... You know I just want you to be ok..."  
Her eyes softened, "I know. Look Dig, you haven't been home, Lyla and Sara probably are really missing you. Go. I'll be ok here."  
"Alright. I'll call you in the morning?"  
"Yeah, that sounds good," she stepped closer to him and then folded herself into him carefully for a hug. He hesitantly and very slowly and gently put his arms around her. After a moment they separated. It was a much needed hug for both of them. Diggle made his way back to the door, "if you ladies need anything, I'll be here, I'm only a phone call away." He gave once last worried glance and closed the door behind him.   
Thea and Felicity both stood there for a moment before the Moira Queen in Thea started speaking, "I have some fruit or I can make you a sandwich. It's really no trouble."  
Felicity gave a little smile. This really was a situation she'd never thought she'd be in. However, Thea was really trying to help, and it warmed her heart, "Really that's ok, I don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. I'm still a little nauseous. I'd love a shower, if you don't mind."  
Thea's eyes glazed over for a moment with a small frown, but she snapped out of it quickly, "Yeah, of course, here, let me show you to the guest room."  
Felicity picked up her bag and followed her. When they entered the bedroom she set the bag down on the bed.  
"The bathroom is just through that door. I have my own, so you won't have to worry about me bothering you. There's soap and stuff in there already."  
Felicity smiled softly, "thanks for everything, Thea. Really, you've already done so much."  
Thea smiled back, "I'll leave you to it."  
Felicity didn't rush the shower. She needed every moment of the hot water soothing her muscles. She shampooed her hair very gently as to not irritate the two stitched cuts. The bruises were blooming in earnest now, she'd noticed. Shades of brown purple and blue littered her flesh. She tried not to focus on them since every time she did there was a twinge of panic beneath the surface. After her shower she felt slightly better. She took a smaller case out of her bag and went to the mirror. Her contact lens had been bothering her since she'd woken up and she couldn't wait until to take them out and put on her glasses. She mused that it was probably a good thing she hadn't taken them out before leaving the lair or more likely then not they would be broken now.   
Dressed now, she decided to head back to the living room. She found Thea sitting at the breakfast bar with a glass of wine next to her. Thea saw her right away, "hey."  
Felicity came to sit in front of her. She realized that Thea was hurting. A lot had happened in the last day and even though she was attacked, Thea was going through a different kind of trauma. "Hey, how are you doing?"  
Thea smiled and let out a breathy laugh, "Well it's not every day you walk into Starling City's vigilante's lair and are then told said vigilante is also your missing brother..."  
"I know, it's a lot of... information. Are you angry about any of it?" Felicity asked even though she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.  
Thea thought for a moment with a calmness surrounding her, "I feel like I should be. But I just don't." She thumbed the stem of her glass as she looked down at it, "I know he's lied, a lot. Especially to me. But I can't stop thinking that...he's sacrificed so much, he's been through so much...and none of it has been for himself. Ollie came back from that island and even though I wanted him to be the brother I remembered and give me the attention I thought he should give me, I knew that he had suffered, scars aside. He had every reason to just go and do anything he wanted after all that. He didn't thought, he chose to defend and save people. How can I be angry at him for that?"  
Felicity stared at her with tears falling down her cheeks. Thea knew he had lied and killed and still she saw Oliver for the good he had done. Thea saw him just like she did.  
"You love him, don't you?" Thea asked, an understanding in her face.  
"I do." It was difficult admitting it, even after all they had been through, to herself as well as to Oliver's sister. She had never said the words out loud and even though Diggle knew of her feelings, she had never discussed them with anyone.  
"He's lucky to have you. I never really saw you together other than as his EA, but I know that it must have helped having you and Mr. Diggle, knowing his secret and all."  
Felicity hated that she was talking about him in the present tense, like he was still alive. It hurt to hear the hope in Thea's voice that her brother would be back. She wished that she could tell her the truth, but she couldn't add to Thea's confusion and pain. Not tonight. She settled with telling her something true and positive, "he'd do anything to protect you." She then made to leave, "I think I'm going to go to bed. Thank you again for letting me stay with you."  
"Not like you had much of a choice." Thea said, a lightness in her tone.  
Felicity smiled softly in return, "No, I guess I really didn't."   
As she was about to exit the room, Thea called her name and she turned back to face her, "I know you think he's not coming back. But he will. He always does."  
"Goodnight, Thea." It was the only thing she could say without making her sob. She made it to her room a few seconds before doing just that until she cried herself to sleep.  
}-->

Thea awoke to a loud scream. It jolted her awake and quickly her instincts took over and she was out of the bed and looking for a weapon. There was always a small dagger under her bed, more accessible then her other weapons that were in a hidden closet in her loft.   
She listened carefully at her bedroom door until she heard another high pitched scream "Felicity!" She realized right away that Felicity had been the one to scream. She ran to her room and opened the door slowly, her dagger raised in front of her in case there was an intruder. But there was no intruder. The only attack, it seemed, came from Felicity's own mind. Felicity was uncovered from the waist up, her legs tangled in the sheets, seemingly inching herself up the headboard to get away from her nightmare. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and her face was pinched in fear or possibly pain. Thea came to the side of the bed Felicity was closest to after depositing her blade on the dresser.  
"Felicity..." Thea said softly.  
She only replied by whimpering and backing up further into the plush headboard.  
Thea tried again, this time rubbing her hand gently against her upper arm. Felicity's reaction was immediate and severe. Her scream made Thea flinch away, her hand recoiling back to her body as she mentally cursed herself. Felicity was now grabbing at non existent hands on her body, sometimes being so frantic she left scratched on her skin.   
"Felicity, wake up! You're safe. It's Thea, please..." Thea couldn't help but start tearing up, this was a horrible thing to watch her go through. Her heart ached for her and she didn't know how to release her from her torture.

}--->

"Felicity!" The last shout must have pulled her out of her nightmare. Felicity awoke with a start, back ramrod straight and her skin slick with sweat. Her heart pounded within her chest and before she could think another thought, she was running for the attached bathroom. Her head was over the toilet a moment later, spilling the remains of her stomach, which by all accounts wasn't much but water. She was dry heaving and couldn't quite make her stomach stop lurching. Hands smoothed her hair back and she startled again and threw herself into the corner.  
"It's just me, sorry... I just wanted to hold your hair back." Felicity hadn't even been aware there was someone in the room with her. She tried to get herself under control, silently telling herself she was safe, it was only Thea. But part of her mind was still terrorized by her nightmare.  
But it wasn't just a nightmare. She knew that it had actually happened to her. She remained on the floor in the corner, her back to the cool tile and head resting atop her knees, she let her heart try to slow and the acute fear she felt abate.  
Thea sat across the way from her against the sink as she did this. She wished she could do more to comfort her, but she didn't want to do more harm than good. She just sat patiently, there in silent companionship, waiting for Felicity to calm down. After what felt like a long time, Felicity's head came up and she turned her eyes to Thea.  
"Want to talk about it?" Thea offered.  
Felicity hesitated but then licked her dry lips, "there were two of them." She began with what seemed the easiest thing to say. Thea nodded knowingly and her expression urged her to keep going.  
"I was headed to my car when they caught me by surprise. He had his hand at my throat pinning me to the wall. He was saying things in my ear, something about dancing in the club. I just keep remembering trying to fight against him, but he was so strong. Any attempt I made wasn't enough. That was it. It's still a little fuzzy"  
Thea nodded again sympathetically, "When we came out, I didn't know what was happening. Roy saw whatever was it was and sent me back inside. And then he came back in with you and we went downstairs....but you were so scared."  
"It feels a lot more real now. Before it didn't, it just felt like this story that was made up starring me. Now...."  
When she didn't continue, Thea spoke up, "I know I really haven't known you for awhile, and I haven't been through anything like you have, but if you ever need to talk...I'd want to be there for you."  
Felicity nodded, not quite in the right frame of mind to smile, "thank you".  
"Want to head back to bed? You've only slept three hours..." Thea said as she got off the tile floor.  
Felicity followed suit, "You go. I might just surf the net for a little while." She said it to be polite. There was no way she was going back to sleep tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

2 Days Later

It was a good that it was winter. That being said, even though it was winter, Felicity didn't have a plethora of long sleeve dresses, so it was taking a little longer than usual for her to come up with an outfit for work. "Who knew I had this many sleeveless dresses..." She mused to herself as she finally decided on something to wear. Instead of a dress she decided on a long sleeve blouse and skirt with opaque tights. It definitely was more covered up than she usually dressed but she'd rather not be asked about why she had bruises on her... well, pretty much everywhere.  
As she was zipping up her skirt there was a knock on the door. She walked hastily to open it and wasn't too surprised when Diggle was on the other side holding two coffees. She eyed him warily, "I'm going to ignore the fact that you're early only because of the fact that you came bearing coffee."  
He smiled faintly, "I was hoping to be early enough to talk you out of going in today..."  
She rolled her eyes, took her coffee and started to walk away, leaving Diggle to close the door. They'd already had this conversation yesterday. Several times.   
After her nightmare Saturday night, she never did go back to sleep. She knew that Thea had probably sneakily told Diggle about it and that he was worried, which he made very clear. Again, several times. "We talked about this, Dig. There's no reason for me to stay home."   
"It's barely been two days since you were attacked, Felicity. You're still healing, and I can tell you haven't slept. You can take a break." Diggle implored her.  
"I'm not just going to sit home and dwell on it, on everything. I'll be fine."  
"Then at least take the night off, we'll all skip the foundry tonight." Dig pushed.  
"We need to deal the with the Vertigo situation." She looked at Diggle from her bathroom door, she eyes softening when she saw the worry on his face, "don't worry so much, Dig, I'm fine. I'm better than fine! I'm caffeinated!" She said holding up her coffee cup.  
She returned to her mirror. She applied a fair amount of concealer to her neck and face and forgoed her usual ponytail, leaving her hair down to add more coverage. She then paid special attention to her eyes. Diggle was right of course. She didn't sleep much last night. She hadn't wanted to go to sleep in the first place since what happened at Thea's the previous night. But her body was still healing and all the stress was taking its toll, after awhile she just couldn't keep her eyes open. Diggle had offered to stay with her of course, or better, she could come to him and Lyla's, but she refused. Even Thea offered again, ignoring Roy, who wasn't too pleased he'd be kicked out again. No. It was better to get back to all things normal as soon as possible.  
She blotted around her eyes for the last time and was finished.  
"I'm ready, let's go," she said picking up her purse and headed toward the door.  
Diggle opened it, gestured for her to go first, defeatedly, "if you're sure".

}---->

For all intensive purposes the day went surprisingly well. Felicity remained caffeinated at all times so her eyelids wouldn't threaten her to find a corner to fall asleep in, and she got a considerable amount of work done for Ray. The only hiccup was when he snuck up behind her once with a gentle hand on her shoulder. She immediately yelped and threw her coffee at him. Fortunately he was so busy apologizing while cleaning himself up that she had time to calm her Olympic racing heart and force the panic down. She felt really bad about that incident later, but at least the coffee was considerably cooled. . .  
Felicity and Diggle (who was less than pleased) were first to enter the lair. They'd stopped talking, at an impasse with each other, over the fact that Felicity was overexerting herself.  
Ignoring him now, she went straight to her computers to see if her searches had found anything.  
The door opened a moment later and two pairs of feet came down the stairs.  
"I see you've brought Thea with you, Roy," Diggle said. Felicity mused that his middle name should be changed to 'lessthanpleased'. John less than pleased Diggle, it had a good ring to it.  
Roy rolled his eyes, "I didn't bring her, she badgered me to come."  
"And he knows what would happen if he were to deny me!" Thea continued.  
Everyone looked supremely uncomfortable after that until a search alert went off. Felicity scanned the information, "I didn't even make this search."  
"Then it must be the one I made," Diggle stepped closer to the computer, careful to maintain reasonable space between them.   
"You touched my babies?" Felicity dead panned.  
Diggle gave her a withering look. "I sent the blood sample I took from you to the lab and had it analyzed. What did it come up with?"  
"Rohypnol," she began.  
"No surprise there" Diggle said knowingly.  
"And...huh" she said distractedly, still staring at the results.  
"And..." Diggle encouraged.  
"It's inconclusive." She said.  
"The lab couldn't determine what the other drug was?" Roy asked confused.  
Felicity had to know what that meant and there was only one way to find out. She rolled her chair over to grab her phone.   
"Hi Barry" she said into cell, "I'm working on a case and I really need to have Caitlin analyze something at STAR LABs....you can be here in 20 minutes? Perfect. See you soon." She hung up.  
"Barry's on his way."  
Diggle held up his hand skeptically, "from Central City?" Felicity nodded.  
"Isn't it like three hours from Central City to Starling?" asked a voice they had forgotten about.  
Felicity looked back to Roy and Thea and cringed, "Uh yeah, by car."  
Thea and Roy looked completely confused. "So," began Roy, "how's he getting here then?"

}---->

Suddenly there was a gust of wind and Barry was with them in the lair. Felicity smoothed her wind blown hair and smiled at him, "hey Barry."  
"Hey Felicity." He smile back, then looked around to the other three in the room, "hey everybody."  
Thea and Roy's faces were a mixture of shocked and impressed. Diggle, who had already met the Central City team, still didn't look like he would ever get used to Barry's speed.  
"I hope you don't mind, Thea and Roy know your identity, they are part of the team now. Roy is Arsenal, and Thea was...IS...Oliver's sister." Felicity rushed to cover up her slip. She glanced around and spotted Roy covertly rolling his eyes at her. Everyone else besides Diggle seemed nun the wiser.  
Barry just smiled, "if they are part of the team, then they know how to keep secrets. It's cool. So what did you need analyzed?"  
"Err, it's just a blood sample. We need a full toxicology report, some of our readings came up inconclusive," Felicity told him. She was trying to act as normal as possible.   
Unfortunately she was failing miserably. Barry knew her well enough to suspect when she was acting strangely. He also was perceptive enough to see that she looked tired, the bags under her eyes were a dead giveaway. "Alright, well I'll get Caitlin on this as soon as I get back. It was nice meeting you guys, and seeing you again Mr. Diggle. Want to walk me out?" he asked Felicity.  
"Oh...um sure."  
The others nodded to Barry as the made their way to the entrance. As they got to the door, Felicity heard someone faintly say, "I wish UPS was that fast."  
They stood at the side entrance when Barry turned to her, "is everything ok? You seem, I dunno, stressed or something."  
Felicity really wished she hadn't come out with Barry. Not only did she not want to talk about this, but this was the same entrance where she had been attached. Barry also didn't know about Oliver. She decided to break that news instead, unpleasant as it was.  
"Um, actually, Oliver...he...." She blew out a big breath. She looked down at the floor searching for words that would not come.  
"Is Oliver ok?" Barry coaxed worriedly.  
Felicity just shook her head, tears welling in her eyes, "no." She paused letting it sink in, "Thea doesn't know yet, either."  
Barry saw the truth in her eyes, his own welling up. Oliver had become a mentor to him, he felt the loss immediately. "Is this his?" He gestured to the blood sample. Felicity shook her head, "no, it's something else."  
Barry regarded her again, a deep sympathy for her. He knew exactly how much she cared for Oliver, "I'm so sorry, Felicity. Are you ok?"  
She just nodded back to him solemnly, not wanting to risk tears.  
"If you ever need to talk or anything, " Barry said reaching for shoulder.  
She flinched immediately and stepped back, hitting the wall of the building behind her. Suddenly she wasn't seeing Barry, she was seeing a man sneering into her, "You can call me Oliver if you'd like".  
She shook her head violently and cringed away. When she looked back, Barry was looking at her heartbreakingly concerned, borderline fearful. "No ones going to hurt you, ok?"  
She didn't know what she had said just then, but she nodded and tried to snap back to reality despite the choke of fear in her throat. "Sorry..right, of course. I'm ok. Really. Just let me know about the blood sample as soon as you can."  
Barry nodded warily but decided not to push it. He'd find out what was going on on his own. "I will. Goodnight, Felicity." And he sped away, a gust of wind was the only thing left as she said, "Goodnight, Barry".  
C


	5. Chapter 5

All was quiet in the lair a few days later. Felicity had continued to go to work and then to the Foundry, all to Diggle's chagrin. Sleep was still an issue, it would always be the same routine: She'd be so exhausted that she'd drag herself to bed. A couple hours later she would have a nightmare about her attack and wake up soaked in sweat and heart racing in her chest. After that she'd never been able to go back to sleep. So it was no surprise that it was coffee and the Vertigo case that kept her going, in every sense of the word.  
She still wasn't quite comfortable with anyone, particularly men, touching her, especially when someone caught her off guard. Luckily, everyone was fairly adept of keeping their distance as she worked through it. That was her basic routine these days: fight sleep, work, other work, avoid getting touched, vertigo research, repeat.  
Today, however, there was an encouraging surprise when she finally found something related to the new strain of vertigo.  
Roy and Diggle were just coming down the stairs from their patrol when they heard her.  
"Yes!" Felicity said with a fist pump to the air. It was the first lead they'd had and it felt good to finally have something to go on.   
"You only fist pump when you've hacked something incredibly illegal," Roy snarked.  
"I think hacking anything is still constituted illegal," Diggle said amused. This was the first time he'd seen any kind of life in Felicity since the news about Oliver, "so what did you find?"  
"Since we weren't really coming up with anything related to the ingredients in the new vertigo, I hacked into Iron Heights archives..."  
"Ah hah!" Roy interrupted.   
Diggle elbowed him in the ribs which earned him a grunt and Felicity continued, "and Starling Psychiatric Ward's. Both The Count and Zietel's files where checked out for, and I quote 'investigation regarding similar toxicology for patient therapies' end quote by none other than a Dr. Jonathan Crane, psychiatrist at, drum roll please, Arkham Asylum."  
Diggle had a expression that closely resembled pride and it made Felicity feel a little warmer inside, "Well that is definitely a solid lead."  
"So now what?" Roy, now out of his red jacket inquired.  
Felicity turned back to her screens, "let's see... he checked out the one file on Sunday, and the other today...he's in town!" Her typing became furious, "oh and would you look at that, he's giving a seminar this Friday at the Exchange Building."  
Diggle stopped smiling then, "I'm not sure that I like where this is heading."  
A gust of wind suddenly blew papers everywhere and made Felicity's screens jiggle on the desk, "Geez, Barry, a little warning would be nice! I have got to get some paper weights..." Felicity babbled to herself, righting the paperwork and making sure that her computers were still in working order.  
"Sorry!" He grinned.  
"So what's up, Speedy?" Asked Roy.  
"And I thought I was the only one anyone called Speedy around here," Thea called from the stairs, "the club doesn't usually have a wind machine going, although, it's kind of a cool effect."  
Diggle squinted incredulously at Barry, "you went through the club?"  
Barry looked somewhat embarrassed, "I heard the music from outside; they were playing my jam!"  
The others just stared at him trying to picture him dancing around the club at super-speed.  
"Well um, anyways, I've got the analysis of the blood sample back," Barry continued and handed a thumb drive to Felicity. She plugged it in and started reading the results, "So it says here that the component is a reuptake inhibitor that produces an active metabolite that enhances interactions with other drugs".  
"It's not a known drug, someone synthesized the compound." Barry clarified.  
"Wait, back up," Roy interrupted, "some of us here don't have science degrees."  
Barry started explaining, "The compound basically tells the body to absorb whatever else is given in conjunction with it, like medication. So instead of just administering a drug and letting it take however long it takes for the body to recognize it, this speeds up the process in a fraction of the time. It's a prodrug, basically, but there are prodrugs that are meant to interact with other drugs to increase absorption rate."  
"Wait, so this could help the absorption rate with any drug?" Diggle asked.  
"We've tested a few substances, and so far it's reacted positively with all of them."  
Felicity started typing. Everyone else contemplated what this could mean. On one hand, this could be a very good thing with treating people with diseases or ailments, on the other, what with Vertigo going around... "Oh frack. Dr. Crane's seminar is on Psychotomimetic Pharmacokinetics"  
"English blondie." Roy said in a frustrated voice.   
Barry explained for her, "Psychotomimetic drugs mimic the symptoms of psychosis, such as delusions and hallucinations and Pharmacokinetics describes how the body affects a specific drug after administration through the mechanisms of absorption and distribution."  
"So this ties him to the new vertigo and the drug you were give.."  
"Roy!" Felicity shouted angrily. Roy closed his mouth quickly.  
"Felicity, I know." Barry spoke up.  
"Know what? There's nothing to know. By the way you could have just emailed the results, you didn't have to come all the way here..."  
Barry interrupted her babble understanding that she wanted to change the subject, "We tested the blood and found the compound and the Rohypnol...and after the way you acted the last time I was here...while we were testing the compound, there were a good number of white blood cells, so I decided I mixed in some known allergens."  
Felicity knew where this was going and just looked down, her head shaking in embarrassment.  
Roy was confused, "what would that do?"  
Barry continued, "Well for someone like Felicity, who has a peanut allergy, if the compound was mixed with let's say peanuts, they wouldn't be able to even grab for an epi-pen before their throat closed up. I knew it was her blood. I was worried, so I called Diggle.  
"I didn't know you guys had exchanged digits." Felicity snarked eyes still on the floor. It was bad enough her team knew, now Barry. She just wanted to forget it ever happened and for everyone else to do the same.  
"Hey," Barry said kneeling down. She brought her eyes to his, "I'm just glad that you're ok, and I just want you know that I'm here for you if you need me. I'm pretty sure you were there for me after being struck by lightning. Really, since the day I met you, you've always had my back, and I want you to know that I have yours too."  
Felicity had tears in her eyes but her embarrassment was forgotten so she got up from her chair to give Barry a slow tentative hug. There was no panic, for which she was grateful. She stepped back and smiled, "thanks, you lovable dummy."  
Barry chucked and it seemed that a small weight was lifted off both of their shoulders.   
After the moment was over they got back to the vertigo business. "There's still the matter of the seminar. Now that it's obvious that Crane is behind or at the very least involved with the vertigo and the stimulant compound, we have to see how he's planning on using the drugs."  
"It almost feels like this has been a test."  
Everyone turned to Roy. Thea was the one that voiced the confusion everyone else felt, "what do you mean?"  
"Well, the vertigo has been on the streets, and everyone who buys it thinks they are going to get high like the first one, which is definitely not the case, at least not in the same way. Then, separately, this other drug is being bought, mostly I'm sure by perverts and.... well you get it."  
Felicity trembled slightly but otherwise didn't remark, she knew he was right in this instance, and it seemed everyone else thought so too.  
"It does beg the question, if this is a test period, what else is going around and for what reason?" Diggle mused.  
"We have to go to that seminar. Barry, do you think Dr. Wells could spare Caitlin this Friday?"  
"I'm sure it'd be cool with him"  
"Good, we'll meet here..."  
"Felicity..."  
"No, Dig! I have to go. If this is a direct cause of what happened then this guy is going down, and I'm going be there to watch it happen."  
There was silence. No one wanted to argue with her. After what happened and her determination to see this through, how could they? Especially when she was a hairs breadth away from using her loud voice. No one wanted to be present for that.  
Diggle was still worried but acquiesced, sternly saying, "then your on comms the entire time and both you can Caitlin are taking weapons. Roy and I will be outside the whole time on standby."  
She couldn't argue with that so she nodded, "then we'll meet here Thursday night to do a strategic run through, and Friday its showtime."  
Everyone nodded in agreement.  
Barry stilled for a moment and began listening very intently. He then looked up smiling, "I like this song!" It was the last thing anyone heard before Barry blurred up the stair as Felicity mumbled expletives to herself while picking up her paperwork.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the night before Dr. Jonathan Crane's seminar. Actually it was the morning before the seminar, the very early morning. The team had finished up their dress rehearsal of the plan, excluding the actually leathers, although there were props involved, well not props really, because guns and knives were really weapons. 3, 2, 1.... Felicity took a breath and rolled her eyes. She was the only person she knew of that could ramble without actually speaking.  
Diggle came over to her, "Ready to head out?"  
It was part of their routine. Diggle would always walk her to her car when they had finished at the foundry. It was the only provision that she had not argued with after her attack. Every night, with the help of her nightmares, she pieced more and more of her attack together. Sometimes there were minute details that especially stood out, like the scraping of her skin against the very cold and slightly wet concrete.   
"Yeah, I'm ready. Where's your stuff?" Diggle usually had his bag with a change of clothes and his personal glock.  
"Roy and I are sticking around to train for a bit. We didn't patrol tonight, so it's just to get some energy out". That was suspicious. Diggle's face revealed nothing but calm, but Felicity couldn't help but sense that something was definitely up. She looked around for Roy who was presumably changing.  
"Ok," she said not questioning him. She walked ahead of Diggle on their way to the car. As she opened the driver's side door she turned back to him, "you'd tell me if something was wrong right?"  
Diggle very slowly and deliberately put a hand on her shoulder. She saw it coming so she reigned in the flinch and ignored the slight twinge of panic. He saw her reaction, even as slight as it was, his face was was soft but resolved, "Nothing is wrong, and yes I'd tell you if something was. Go home and take care of yourself. Big day tomorrow."  
She believed him but still felt that he was hiding something. She gave him a slight smile, "goodnight then."   
She got in her car and drove away leaving Diggle still standing on the sidewalk watching her turn down the street.

}---->

It was just about time to go to the seminar. Team Arrow and Flash, minus Cisco, we're all gathered for a last run through of the plan.   
"By the way, Cisco is not pleased with any of us for being left out, he promised swift retribution in the form of ridiculous code names for all of you," Barry said, his face playful.  
"It's not like he wasn't invited. It's not our fault that Dr. Wells needed someone to him stay behind to feed the metas." Felicity said offhandedly.  
Diggle cleared his throat, "One more time so everyone is on the same page. Comms are checked?"  
Felicity nodded.  
"Felicity and Caitlin will enter the the Exchange building from separate entrances. Felicity from the south entrance, Caitlin from the west. Sit on the same sides of the room respectively. Roy will be covering West I'll be covering South. Thea will on comms watching surveillance with Barry who--"  
"Who will probably be there before either of you," He interrupted.  
"Barry," Diggle continued mildly annoyed, "Who will be suited up here in case anything happens. Weapons check."  
Felicity discretely lifted her skirt, shorter than she'd like for this occasion, but necessary, to check her small pistol, safety on, in a holster around her thigh. Caitlin put hers in the inside pocket of her jacket; she looked incredibly uncomfortable being armed.  
"And lastly, Felicity, is your tablet all set?" 'All set' was as specific as he could get when talking about Felicity's tech.  
"The program is running, once we are in the exchange building I should be able to hack into Crane's computer and clone his phone. The program should cloak my ip address. Also I've linked my tablet with this screen, Thea. Because I won't be able to talk freely during the seminar, I'll need you relay what I am doing to the best of your ability. Caitlin also has a recorder, which should be nothing out of the ordinary in a seminar, but this one is streaming to this screen here." What looked like a normal voice recorder that any college student would own was actually a bit more state of the art with a pin hole camera, which was why they couldn't sit together, so the signals wouldn't be affected. Also, Caitlin was more likely to be recognized by Crane because of her work and affiliation with Dr. Wells. It was best not to attract any unwanted attention towards Felicity.  
"Alright then. Let's head out."

}---->

Thea was actually slightly nervous. This was her first active role on Team Arrow and she was an important element in today's recon, acting as Felicity normally would in directing the others. Her mind wandered as she waited for the others to arrive at the Exchange Building. She was trying to figure out how she was going to tell the others about Malcolm and her training. They could definitely use her since they were without Oliver. She just didn't know how they would react to the Malcolm part. She'd have to come clean about it eventually, but definitely not tonight. Maybe when Felicity was feeling better...  
Her thoughts were interrupted by the presence behind her. Barry was also deep in thought and pacing across from one end of the lair to the other. She could tell when he was particularly engrossed because he would blur a step or two.  
"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.  
He stopped pacing and shook his head slightly, "I guess I'm just not used to being on the sidelines."  
"Yeah this seems all kinds of backwards to me, too. Is that all it is?"  
Barry tilted his head in thought, "Well this whole drug compound is pretty dangerous, and I just can't help but think about what Diggle told me about what happened to Felicity."  
Thea empathized, "Yeah it was pretty awful. She's better than she was, but still flinches a little when people sneak up and touch her. You can definitely tell she's not sleeping... It's only been a week though, it'll get better right?"  
Barry seemed confident, "She's tough, and she has good friends. I'm sure it'll just take some time."  
Thea nodded and then heard them turning on their comms, "Here we go..."  
They all checked in one by one giving their positions and then Diggle spoke to everyone, "Caitlin and Felicity are headed in."  
Barry came over to lean on the desk and watch next to Thea. Felicity had set up a few streams of security cameras, so Thea and Barry watched as Caitlin and Felicity entered their respective entrances and went through security. So far so good. After that they lost sight of them. They wouldn't have another visual of what was going on until Caitlin set up the recorder in the seminar room. A few minutes past and Thea and Barry could now see inside the room. "They're in, Caitlin just gave me a quick shot of Felicity on the opposite side of the room," Thea relayed to everyone.  
"Where is she in relation to the door?" Diggle asked.  
"The door is near the front of the room, Felicity is seated second to last in the back."  
"Not my first choice but, it is what it is," Diggle muttered.  
The camera now was on the lecturer who indeed introduced himself as Dr. Jonathan Crane, "audio is nice and clear," Thea praised.  
The other screen that was synced to Felicity's tablet started to have some activity. "If I'm reading this correctly, I'm assuming Felicity is trying to break into the firewall," she looked as some other information, "but his phone is already cloned, I've got contacts, emails, oohh I have that app too..."  
"Thea, focus please." Diggle said as Roy guessed what app she was talking about at the same time. At that point Thea had noticed that Felicity had muted her comms so she couldn't hear the others. Thea berated herself, Felicity was trying to concentrate and they were babbling in her ear. Thea could still hear her typing softly and she had Cailtin there, so Thea wasn't all too concerned.  
"Sorry, sorry. " As she said that, the door to the lair suddenly beeped it's code and opened.  
Thea and Barry looked at one another at the same time, "uh guys...? Did anyone forget something and come back to the club?"  
"What do you mean, Thea? Everyone is here, who could possible be there?" Diggle said, an edge to his voice.  
"Oh God, Merlyn infiltrated again I bet!" Roy said into his comm.  
Thea jumped for a weapon and Barry stood up ready to help take whoever it was down.  
But the person who came down the steps wasn't a threat. Barry had a look of shock on his face, his mouth hung wide, as Thea's face erupted to a full smile as she ran towards the unexpected visitor, "Ollie!"  
"Oliver?" "That's impossible!" Diggle and Roy both said in shock.  
Thea ran to Oliver and threw herself into his arms. Oliver winced slight but was smiling softly and put his arms around Thea. When she looked back up to him his face was confused and if she wasn't mistaken, slightly afraid, an unfamiliar look on his face, "Thea? How are you down here?"   
Thea's smile was blinding though, no trace of anger, "I know, Ollie, it's ok. I know everything."  
"But how?" Oliver was smiling now, relief plain on his face, but still confused. He looked up to notice who else was in the room, "Barry? What are you doing here? Where is everyone else?"  
"It's a long story, Ollie, just come and settle down." Thea moved back to the desk, "everything is fine guys, Oliver's back and he's fine."  
"Glad to hear it. We'll see him when we get back though. What's going on in the seminar?" Diggle asked.  
"Felicity is still trying to get past the firewall. Wait a second, Crane just asked Caitlin a question."  
Barry, Thea and Oliver listened to the recorder's audio. Oliver was still very confused about what was happening. Barry gave him a little bump on the shoulder, "Glad you're alright. I don't think anyone thought you were..." He trailed off not wanting Thea to overhear, but she seemed distracted enough listening to the audio.   
Oliver cut to the chase then, "Barry what's going on?" His face was stern. He didn't like being so out of the loop.  
"We are on a lead to try to stop the new vertigo that is on the streets and possibly another drug. Felicity and Caitlin are inside trying to hack this guy's firewall and Diggle and Roy are outside as back up." Barry explained.  
"The seminar is finishing up. Caitlin is packing up slowly, I don't think Felicity got through the firewall yet," Thea relayed, "everyone has pretty much left. Wait, he's asking Felicity a question. He's going up to her."  
"Caitlin get his attention, ask him something," Diggle said swiftly, "Roy, get closer to the entrance, I'm moving in too."   
Thea turned the audio up to listen more closely, "I know what you're trying to do Miss Smoak, but my firewall's encryption is exceptional." It was Crane speaking.  
Over the comms Diggle could hear it, "Felicity, get out of there now!"  
"She muted her comms!" Thea said a little hysterically.   
"What!?" Oliver asked furiously, his jaw clenched tight.  
"We...I was talking too much, she couldn't concentrate I think, so she muted them. She can't hear us."  
"Caitlin can though, tell her to draw her gun," said Barry.  
Thea did, and Caitlin went for her gun in her purse, they could tell from the shaky camera, but then there was a gasp. The recorder fell to the floor and all you could see was part of Caitlin's hand, the floor, and Felicity's body going limp behind her.   
"Oh God, they're down!" Thea shouted.  
"We are going in. Get Barry!" Barry was already gone and out the door in a flash leaving a worried pair of siblings behind to wait.


	7. Chapter 7

Felicity couldn't believe that Crane had this sophisticated of a firewall. The difficulty this was giving her was extremely frustrating, this should have been a cake walk of a hack and it was giving her more trouble than ARGUS's mainframe. Only someone with something to hide would need something like that. At one point she even deflected a piggyback, possibly a defense algorithm built in to dissuade infiltration. Yeah, nice try.   
At one point there was a little too much chatter on the comms, so she had to mute their side of the conversation. Her complete concentration was required right now to hack the firewall and to do it discretely enough as to not alert Crane that she was not, in fact, taking notes.  
Her concentration faltered again when Crane took note of Caitlin's presence, "Dr. Snow, it's quite an honor having you attending with us. I, myself, am a big fan of your work with Dr. Wells at Star Labs. Tell me, could you give us an anecdotal example of a Psychotomimetic episode?"  
Caitlin then rattled off an experience she had at Star Labs albeit a bit more nervously than she should have been. Felicity took this opportunity to evaluate Crane. He didn't seem like your typical drug distributor, and obviously he was well educated in psychology and biochemistry from the research she gathered in advance of the seminar. However, his appearance and demeanor definitely stumped her general assumption of what he would be like.   
Caitlin was wrapping up her thought and according to the time, the seminar was almost over. She doubled her efforts. In her concentration she hadn't realized how fast the last few minutes had passed by and saw the room was nearly empty. It was futile, she'd have to abandon the mission and try to get the information another way. She locked her tablet and stood up as a voice began speaking to her, "I didn't expect that you would have such an interest in pharmacology or psychiatry, Miss Smoak."  
Felicity was caught off guard, she didn't expect him to know her, "I'm sorry, have we met before?"  
Crane smiled slightly, "No we haven't formally met, but I know of your encounter with Count Vertigo. It was a good thing the Arrow intervened, or we might not be meeting now."  
Felicity suddenly froze and felt incredibly stupid. Of course. That night was all over the news so he would know about it since he had been investigating all instances having to do with Vertigo.   
Felicity could hear Caitlin trying to get Crane's attention but he was solely focused on her. His expression was curious and somewhat amused, "I know what you're trying to do, Miss Smoak, but my firewall's encryption is exceptional."  
Felicity's heart dropped right into her stomach, they were in trouble, he was on to them. She wasn't sure how, maybe the firewall had an alert system, or maybe it did manage to piggyback off her IP address. Crane was standing in front of her, one hand in his pocket, looking very cool, like he didn't have a care in the world. Very suddenly his hand flew out of his pocket and flicked in Caitlin's direction. A dart of some kind found its home in her neck and she was on the floor in an instance. Her gun, which she have must have tried to grab for, and the recorder dropped noisily to the floor. In her distraction, Crane sprayed something right in her face, "This is a warning to not get involved, Miss Smoak." She tried to fan the air away but in seconds she felt light headed. She dropped to the floor, a sudden thick drowsiness overtaking her. In the seconds that she remained conscience, there was a gun firing from somewhere and a retreating Dr. Crane. She then submitted to nothingness.  
}---->  
Back at the foundry Oliver and Thea were helplessly watching the feed and listening to the comms on speaker. They watched as Caitlin, in her last conscience seconds, fired her gun in the direction of Crane, and him fleeing out the side door.  
"He just left the room, guys," Thea directed.  
"I'm in the hall, I don't see him. Roy do you have him?" Diggle asked frustratedly.  
"No, I'm at the entrance, he's not here!"  
"Keep looking," Diggle said again as he entered the seminar room, gun drawn. The room was clear as he approached Felicity and reached for her neck, "I've got a good pulse." As he said that, there was a flash of red and Barry was kneeling in front of Caitlin, "she's ok too, just knocked out. I'll take Felicity first, just stay with Caitlin, I'll be right back." Barry took Felicity in his arms and was gone.  
Diggle went across the room to Caitlin's side. He knelt down and picked something up from the floor. He put the object in front of the pin hole camera, "see this?"  
"It looks like a trank dart," Oliver said, "bring it back with you. Was there one by Felicity?"  
"I only found the one," Diggle replied.  
Oliver didn't know what to do with himself, his hands were on his hips, he was trying not to panic and jump to conclusions from being so out of the loop. He paced another turn when Barry shot down the stairs and deposited Felicity on the med table.  
Oliver gave Barry a quick nod as he joined them and Barry was off again. Oliver checked Felicity's pulse and breathing and when he satisfied that she seemed ok, breathed a sigh of relief. He took her in for a moment, he had missed her so much. So many nights while he was recovering he thought of her, of their last encounter before he went to fight Ra's. Now he just wanted her awake to make sure she was ok.  
"Is she ok, Ollie?" Thea said from the desk, still monitoring the comms.  
"She seems to be, I don't know what he did to her, who was that, Thea? What were you guys thinking?" Oliver was becoming increasingly more agitated just thinking about their mission that went completely south.  
As Thea began to speak, Felicity's head started to roll to the side, her eyes fluttering slightly. Oliver bent to down and placed a hand on her cheek, his other stroking down her hand.  
"Felicity? Hey, wake up for me. C'mon..." He tried to coax her awake but she was still pretty out of it. As her head turned all the way to one side, Oliver noticed something. At first he thought they were shadows that were being cast but as he looked closer he saw that they were bruises along the side of her neck.   
"What the...?" He turned her head the other way and saw the same pattern on the opposite side. His mind ran in circles. Now that he was noticing the bruises on her neck, he started to find other things, like a stitched up cut in her hair line and the fact that she was wearing long sleeves. He knew she preferred wearing sleeveless dresses, even in the winter. He took one of her hands and rolled up the respective sleeve. His jaw clenched as he found even more bruising, especially around her wrist.   
"Thea!" He called his sister trying to calm himself, his thoughts murderous. She was talking to the other on the comms. It sounded like they were headed back.   
Felicity was shifting again, she was starting to breath heavier now. Oliver tried to wake her again, "Felicity, it's Oliver..." She shook her head back and forth, more forcefully this time, her breathing coming in pants now, her face pinched.   
Oliver could now tell she was having a nightmare, he grabbed her shoulder to keep her still and she cried out in fear. Her eyes snapped open and she tried to sit up, but Oliver held her in place to keep her from sitting up, "you're ok, it was just a dream..." He shushed her to to calm her down.  
"Let go, let go..." She whimpered, her pleas getting louder and more frantic. Oliver could see her eyes open but her they were darting all over the place, unfocused. She swatted his hands away forcibly, and he moved away slightly, still talking to her, "it's Oliver...Felicity please"   
With what room he gave her she used to her advantage and jumped off the med table.   
"Don't touch me! Stay away from me!" She cried desperately backing up, falling over slightly and scurrying backward. Oliver didn't know what to think, his heart ached at her pulling away from him, but at the same time he was terrified of what was happening.   
He could register that the door had opened from up the stairs but he was still focused on Felicity who was still trying to cower away from him. He tried to close the distance again but Felicity started screaming, "No, don't touch me! No!!" Her face was incredibly anguished, her tears streaming down her face.  
There was a sudden hand on his shoulder pulling him back, "hold up, just give her some space". It was Barry, back from fetching Caitlin. Oliver tried to break his hold, "Let go, Barry." His words were slow and serious, but then Diggle was in front of him, "Listen to him, man."   
Diggle was firm but seemed worried as well. Oliver stopped moving forward and looked toward Felicity. Her eyes were darting around, seemingly looking at things that weren't there, her knees in her chest on the floor. Oliver couldn't take her looking like that, his throat was tight with anguish. Diggle was trying to speak to Felicity now, but she wasn't hearing him. She wasn't recognizing anyone's voice, it was like she was seeing someone else that wasn't there.  
"What did he give her? It looks like she's hallucinating."  
Diggle head fell to his chest and he looked back in realization, "the new vertigo."  
Oliver's mind went rampant. The last Vertigo showed you your fears. In a errant thought, Oliver concluded that she could not be this afraid of kangaroos, "what is she seeing? She's terrified!" His hands were in his hair now, he couldn't contain himself, he was so worried for her. Then he remembered the bruises, "what are those bruises from?"  
Roy was behind him now, "She was attacked last week. Two guys, I found her outside the club."  
Oliver was somewhere between murderous and horrified now, his mind spinning in different scenarios. Felicity was still backed up against the wall. He knelt down, "Felicity you're safe. No one is going to hurt you," She seemed to calm somewhat at that, her eyes looked like they were lost in a memory. He took this chance to place his hand softly in her hair. It was not a good move. She screamed and jerked away, this time scratching at her skin.   
"Dig, sedate her! Now!!" Oliver grabbed her arms and held her as she tried to fight him off. A few seconds later Diggle ran over and injected her with a syringe. She was still yelling, but she was fading with the strength of the sedative. After a minute she was still mumbling, "no...no...no" over and over. It was heartbreaking. Oliver just held her tightly, soothing her with small shushes, and told her that she was safe. She was out a couple minutes later. He didn't let go of her as she slept, he just rocked her gently.  
He didn't know how long it had been when he looked up from her, but when he did, everyone was still starring at them with differing levels of worry. He saw his sister still sitting by the computers. She looked devastated, tear stains streaking down her cheeks. Barry had a sympathetic look, his mask down behind his head.  
Diggle came over to Oliver and knelt down to where he had Felicity lying across his lap, "we need to take a blood sample." Oliver didn't want to let her go but knew it was necessary. He nodded and reluctantly handed her over to Diggle who carried her back to the med table.  
After her blood was drawn, he brought the herb mixture to Diggle. Diggle shook his head, "unfortunately I don't this that's going to work. It's a new formula again."  
Oliver didn't waver, "it can't hurt. Also, we can give her some blood, it may dilute it."  
Diggle nodded and rolled up her sleeve and started a drip with the herb mixture. He also started a line to give her blood. Oliver was still reeling from everything he had seen and heard, "Barry said she was attacked". Diggle nodded as he worked, "Last Friday. We were investigating a new strain of vertigo and we were all on our way out, but I guess she decided to stay longer. I think she was missing you so she just immersed herself in work to try and keep busy. Roy found her and brought her down here, which is why Thea is now in the loop. Felicity was a little beat up, mostly from being thrown around and held against her will." Oliver couldn't hold back his question anymore, "Was she...? Did they?" He couldn't get out the words.  
"No, man, it didn't get that far. She told us Roy got there in time." Oliver nodded, still looking at her, relief coursing through him, as his eyes drifted to Roy. He felt a sudden surge of pride and gratitude for his young protege. His mind raced with imagined images of what went down, and what he pictured made him furious, "The attackers?"  
"Roy got in a few shots and managed to take their wallets. They drugged her, so she couldn't fight back. We followed them last night to try to find a dealer or where they are scoring the drugs. After that..." The look on Diggle's face said it all. After they found a lead, they were going to bust some heads. Oliver looked Diggle straight in the eyes, "I want in," his tone leaving no room for debate. Diggle wasn't about to deny him either, "Done."  
Oliver looked around the room. Roy was sitting with Thea, talking softly, but once in a while Thea's eyes would shift to where he stood with Felicity. Caitlin was sitting up on the couch, Barry standing next to her. She looked fine, aside from her rubbing her elbow where she must have fallen on it.   
Diggle got his attention, "Hey, its really good to have you back, man. We thought you were dead."  
"Yeah, it was really close. I was lucky that I had some unlikely friends around. I came back as soon as I was able. Now I wish it was a week earlier." Oliver felt a huge pang of guilt knowing that if he arrived only seven days sooner, this could have all been prevented.  
"I think we are all feeling some 'woulda, coulda, shoulda right now..." Diggle couldn't tell him not to blame himself, as he was struggling with the same feelings, even though it was none of their faults. It still haunted him the way he found Felicity in the Foundry that night.   
Oliver saw as Diggle fell into a memory, "How was she after?"   
Diggle shook his head, "I've never seen her like that, man. She was terrified, couldn't bare to have anyone touch her. Thea was the only one that she was somewhat comfortable with, and even then... Even now she still flinches when someone touches her. She's stubborn though, after the first night she demanded to go home, and the next work day she was there."  
"But thats good though, right? She's trying to move on...?" Oliver asked.  
"It would be if she would deal with what happened, but she's trying to pretend it didn't happen. I know she's not sleeping with how she lives on coffee. She's just barreling forward. I guess you would know all about that?" Diggle said giving Oliver a knowing look.  
Oliver didn't appreciate Diggle's tone. He didn't need to be reminded of his own struggles of talking about what happened on his five years away. This wasn't about him.  
Barry interrupted his thought process, "Hey, Caitlin analyzed the dart, it was just a tranquilizer," he said to them, "We really have to be heading back. Will she be alright?" he asked looking worriedly at Felicity's prone form.  
Oliver nodded stoically, "Yeah, we'll make sure she's ok".   
"Thanks for all your help, Barry," Diggle added, "You and Caitlin get home safe."  
Barry nodded to them somberly and he and Caitlin took there leave.


	8. Chapter 8

An hour later, Thea and Roy were headed out of the Foundry. Oliver had told Diggle that he was welcomed to go home, but Diggle was reluctant. He wasn't sure how Felicity would react to Oliver being back without any warning, especially after all she had been through in the last week. They had all been extremely surprised at Oliver's return, save for Thea who may have gotten used to her brother being presumed dead. Diggle knew that Felicity's reaction would be no different, if her mourning had been any indiction. Still, no one knew how long she would remain unconscious, so he left with the promise that Oliver would call him the moment she woke up.  
After Diggle headed back to his place, Oliver sat next to Felicity who had been moved to the couch. They had given her some blood to dilute the drugs in her system and finished the drip with the super herbs. Even the sedative should have been out of her system by now. Diggle had also mentioned that she wasn't sleeping, so her prolonged slumber could just be utter exhaustion from lack of sleep and all the stress she had undergone.  
He couldn't help but remember the way he left her when he went to face Ra's, how he told her he loved her and had to walk away. As he thought back, a part of him was glad he didn't hear her say it back. He didn't know if he could have made himself go if he heard her say the words. He had gone to save his sister.  
Oliver took her hand as he watched her sleep. He couldn't help but remember the way he left her when he went to face Ra's, when he told her he loved her and then walked away. A part of him was glad he didn't hear her say it back. He didn't know if he could have made himself go if he heard her say the words. He had gone to save his sister. Thea. He couldn't believe she knew his secret, he thought that she would be angry, that she would want nothing to do with him, but it seemed as though she was almost proud of him instead. It was unfortunate that her finding out had to be the result of Felicity being attacked. Oliver carded his free hand through his hair. He couldn't believe Felicity had gone through such a trauma and not only could he not prevent it, he wasn't there to help her through the aftermath. His gaze tailed to her hand wrapped in his own. It was so small and fragile looking, her skin so pale in comparison to the dark purple and yellowed bruises around her wrists. He silently promised her that he would get her through this, and then silently promised himself he would take care of the men that dared to put their hands on her. They wouldn't be putting their hands on anyone like that ever again as far as he was concerned.  
Oliver moved his hand where it lay on Felicity's to smooth her hair back from her face. He had always held himself back from physical contact with her to maintain boundaries, but now he found that he was unable to stop himself from touching her. His fingers drifted from her hair to the side of her face, his thumb rubbing softly against her cheek.  
Just then she started to respond to his touch. At first her face nuzzled into his hand, but then, as if she realized something, she flinched away, holding the sides of the couch tightly as her eyes struggled to open. Oliver retracted his hand, not wanting to startle her more, especially after what Diggle said about her reaction to being touched. It was a tremendous struggle not to comfort her but he slid away to give her some space.  
When she finally opened her eyes she still seemed very groggy, the sedative and whatever else in her system still having a hold on her. She took in her surroundings as she sat up slightly on the couch. She then noticed someone was with her. Her expression was surprised at first and then pained, as if she was going to cry. She covered her eyes with her hands right away, "Oh God, I'm still seeing things. He's not real, he's not there..."  
"Felicity it's me..." Oliver said as he grasped her hands to remove them from her face.  
She half sobbed, half screamed as she pulled her hands away, but Oliver wouldn't let her go. As much as he didn't want her to be frightened, he had to convince her that it was really him.  
"You're not hallucinating, Felicity, it's me, it's Oliver," his voice broke as he tried to make her believe him.  
"Oliver's dead! Please..." she seemed so broken in that moment, like the weight of all that had happened had finally caught up to her.  
"I didn't die, Felicity. I'm here with you!"  
Felicity shook her head, "Malcolm. He said you fell into a ravine, he brought back a sword with your blood".  
"Yes, but I was found. A friend...treated me. If I could have gotten in touch with you I would have... I'm sorry I took so long, but I'm here now," He said in a rush, willing her to believe him. He let go of her and pulled his shirt over his head. He then took her hand back and placed it over the large bandage that was covering the middle of his chest.  
Her expression changed and now it was one of hope and awe, "Oliver?"  
He nodded, "It's me".  
Felicity launched herself at him and he embraced her back tightly. She was crying into his chest, her frame rocking with her sobs, heart beating wildly against him. He just held her, and soothed her as best he could, relishing the feel of her in his arms. For so long he had denied himself this, denied them both. Now he couldn't keep her at arm's length, not after everything they had been through, not now when she needed him.  
When she settled down he spoke without letting her go, "You believe me now?"  
She took a deep breath, "Well normally when you strip in my fantasies, it's not to show me new wounds".  
Oliver grinned against her hair, relieved that she was acting a little more like herself. He rubbed his hands down her back attempting to sooth her when she winced and tensed against him. He stopped his movements immediately, "I'm sorry, are you hurt?" and pulled away from her to search her face.  
"I'm alright, really, it's nothing." she shook her head, her eyes avoiding his.  
Oliver didn't want to take any chances though, "Let me have a look". He moved to the side of her and started to pull up the back of her blouse.  
"Oliver..." she tried to say, but it was too late.  
He looked at where he pulled up her blouse and stopped breathing. Her back was covered in large bruises. They were all over the expanse of her back where the blouse wasn't covering, shades of purple and faded greens and yellows. In their reunion, he forgot about her being attacked. Now he couldn't ignore the severity of what she endured. His jaw clenched down, he was overwhelmed with anger and quelled the need to hit something. They were both silent as he stared at her back. His hand came up to touch one of the more prominent bruises and he could visibly see her flinch as well as hear her slight intake of breath. His heart broke for her and what she went through, "Felicity..."  
"I'm fine, Oliver," she said as she pulled the blouse back down behind her. She didn't turn to face him, she just sat there looking down into her lap. Oliver knelt in front of her, entering her line of sight, her face showing mostly embarrassment, "I'm so sorry".  
"They told you". It wasn't a question or an accusation, just a statement.  
He nodded, his eyes never wavering from hers, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
She looked at him directly in the eyes then, tears gathered but not flowing. He could almost see her talking herself out of whatever she was thinking of saying, calming herself down internally. She said nothing so he didn't insist, "Why don't we get you home".  
She nodded, and seemed relieved that he wasn't pushing her to talk about it.  
He stood up, "I'm just going to call Diggle, he wanted to know when you were up".  
Felicity nodded and he turned to make the call. When his back was to her, she noticed the bandage between his shoulder blades. She remembered the sword that Malcolm brought to them, covered in blood, almost to the hilt of the sword. It was a miracle that Oliver had survived. Felicity didn't realize how far her feet had taken her when she was standing right in back of Oliver, her hand trailing around the gauze. He stood stock still feeling her hand ghost over his skin and closed his eyes. Her arms were suddenly around his waist, her hands on his stomach in front of him. He placed his hands over hers as he felt her breath on his back.  
"You could have died, we thought you had," she sniffled behind him, "we tried to keep going, to keep your mission alive, keep you alive..."  
Oliver couldn't stop himself as he turned in her arms to face her. Slowly but with purpose he placed his hands on the sides of her face and tilted it up to his own. Softly he brought his mouth to hers, breathing her in as he did so, his lips brushing against hers in a chaste but passionate kiss. She didn't flinch or pull away, in fact she kissed back firmly, as she brought her arms up so she could card her fingers in his hair. She surprised him still when her tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip. He opened his mouth then, allowing them both to explore further, their tongues dancing together now. She felt amazing in his arms, warm and soft, her body flush against his own. His hand now slipped into her hair behind her head to secure her further, but he stopped the moment she tensed and winced. He tipped her face back to assess her when she started apologizing, "I'm sorry, I have some stitches back there".  
He looked at her sadly. Of course she was apologizing to him when she was the one hurt. He didn't say anything, but smiled gently and gave her a chaste peck on the lips. She gave him a shy smile back. He took her hand slowly, aware of her aversion to touch and surprise, "C'mon, let's go."  
She squeezed his hand to let him know she was okay and nodded.  
Oliver entered her apartment first to make sure it was safe. From what he got from Diggle and what he heard over the comms, this Dr. Crane knew who Felicity was and that she was on to him. He didn't know enough about the situation, but he wasn't taking any chances with what had happened tonight and earlier with Felicity's attack. He checked in all her rooms and closets and then approached her when he deemed the apartment clear. Things suddenly felt awkward, he was hesitant as he spoke, "I really don't want to leave you here alone".  
She looked down, her face flushing suddenly but didn't respond right away, so he hurriedly continued, "I'll sleep on the couch. Just in case...I'd sleep easier knowing..."  
"It's nice to be on the other end of a ramble for once," she grinned softly. He took a breath and she spoke again, "I'd like you to stay. It'd make me feel better, too".  
He was relieved. He really wasn't ready to be away from her even though he was genuinely worried about other threats. It had been too long and even if she was going to be in the other room, they'd still be closer than they had been in weeks.  
"Good," he said giving her a small smile.  
"I'll just grab you a pillow," she said as she walked toward her bedroom.  
While he waited, he looked around her apartment. It was bright and cheery just like Felicity. There were different color accents throughout but they all went together harmoniously. Felicity came back in the room and Oliver really took in her appearance. She looked run down and incredibly tired, like she was Atlas, balancing the whole world on her shoulders. It was a deep contrast to the room she had decorated. He silently promised himself that he's help her get back to the cheery disposition he'd come to know and love. Love. Oliver knew they had to have that conversation, but not now, he didn't want to broach that subject after such an emotionally charged night. They had time.  
He smiled as she handed him a pillow and a throw blanket, "Thank you. Sleep well".  
She smiled back, "You too," and turned and walked back to her bedroom. Before she closed her door she turned and looked his way a moment, as if she was going to say something, but only uttered a quick, "goodnight".


	9. Chapter 9

Oliver didn't think he had been asleep that long when he woke up. In fact, he had fallen asleep right away. The second his head hit the pillow he was out, even on the decidedly narrow couch. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising to him though, as his body was still healing and it needed rest to do so. However, he was still a light sleeper, stemming from all the time on the island and the rest of his time away. His instincts kicked in instantly and he looked around swiftly, searching for threats. When he found none, he approached Felicity's bedroom, listening closely at the door.   
He heard what sounded like a whimper, "Felicity?" He didn't want to barge in, but there could have been an intruder. Her next shriek made this decision for him and the door was swung open, his stance defensive and primed. When he entered, he found Felicity quickly, in her bed, alone. She was clearly having a nightmare illustrated by her brow glistening with sweat and the grimace on her face. Even in the dim moonlight coming through the window, he could see the bruises littering her now bared arms. There were even bruises he hadn't been aware of on her face that must have been covered with makeup. It broke his heart all over again.  
When he was next to her, half sitting on the bed, he didn't really know how to wake her. From his experience, it would only serve to frighten her more if he shook her awake.   
"Hey, hey, you're safe. Felicity, it's Oliver, wake up..." He urged softly.  
"Oliver..." She murmured, still dreaming. Her cries were suddenly more frantic but then abruptly she was started awake. Her eyes darted around the room quickly, her dream still taking hold of her, but once she saw Oliver beside her she attempted to calm herself down.  
"Hey, it was just a dream. You're safe," he said gently, his hand ghosting toward her own.  
She nodded quickly, reigning herself in, taking controlled breaths. Suddenly she was in his arms sobbing. It was all too much. She had tried so hard to hold everything in, Oliver allegedly dying, her attackers and the vertigo, she couldn't keep it in any longer or it was going to consume her. So she used Oliver's strong arms to anchor her while she let go.   
Oliver whispered soothing words to her as she let it out, knowing that she desperately needed his support, his love. Watching her fall apart was something he never expected to see. She was always so strong, even in the beginning when they would butt heads, she always held her ground. She was always supporting him, reminding him of the good he did when his mind would only show him the flawed. Now it was his turn to return the favor, to be the rock that she needed.   
At some point he laid them back on the bed, still wrapped in each other’s embrace, his fingers lacing through her locks tenderly as her cries receded and were replaced with soft sniffles. They laid there in the dark, both lost in their own thoughts until she was speaking, "I didn't remember at first, I just woke up in the foundry and Dig told me what happened, that Roy rescued me. At first I was more worried the Thea was downstairs with all things arrowy implicating us". Oliver’s cheeks lifted at her word choice. He urged her on with a soothing squeeze of her shoulder so she continued, "it wasn't real to me, it was like they were telling me someone else's tragedy even though I had the bruises and aches to prove it. But it was like my body had a mind of its own all of a sudden. I mean, Dig is like my big brother and suddenly I was flinching away from him, and my heart would pound!" She shook her head, "I felt so dumb going to Thea's that night, I mean  
come on super awkward...I mean she just found out that her brother was missing...oh yeah we didn't tell her you were dead..."  
Oliver patted her gently and she got the hint to avoid a ramble, "Right. But that night I had dreams, and after that I kept having dreams and then it all started to piece together."  
She was quiet for a few moments and he didn't push her, he let her gather her thoughts in peace and waited patiently, confident that she was far from done.   
She took a deep breath and he knew he would not like what she said next.  
"I was so caught up with trying to get past you dying that I threw myself into the case. That night - if I had just left with Dig or at least been paying attention...I'm so stupid..."  
"Hey, you're not stupid," Oliver interrupted, "Even though I wish you were more careful, you had reason to be distracted. I'm sorry I was the reason".   
"You had to protect Thea. I know that." Oliver nodded, but still felt guilty.  
"If my dreams are any indication, it seems I had given up at one point. I stopped fighting. Maybe it was from the drugs, but maybe, maybe it was just me," Felicity mused solemnly.   
"I'm sure it was the drugs, you would never just give up. If there's anything I know, I know that."  
Felicity pursed her lips in thought, "I'm not so sure. When I thought that I was done for, when they had me pinned, I remember thinking of you, or at least I dreamed that I did. I knew that if you were alive I wouldn't have been scared, because I knew you'd rescue me, just like you always had. Maybe I just wanted it to end in that moment."  
Oliver squeezed her more tightly, his throat clogged with emotion, only being strong for Felicity kept his tears from bubbling over.   
She kept speaking. Now that she had started she couldn't seem to stop herself until it was all out in the open and off her chest.  
"After Crane sprayed me with whatever it was, vertigo I image, I saw them again. Taunting me, telling me I could call them Oliver. And then it was Count. I was back in that chair and he was playing with my hair. I couldn't stand to have any of them near me, touching me. It was so real, more real than it had ever been. It wasn't just a nightmare," Felicity huffed then, "figures it was the only thing that wasn't actually real".   
"It was us you know."  
Felicity looked up at Oliver confused and he explained, "when you were dosed with the vertigo, the men you thought you were seeing was me, Barry and Diggle. The other two weren't there when you first woke up and I didn't know about the attack, so I was too near, I didn't know not to touch you, that it would trigger-"  
"You couldn't have known, you can't blame yourself."  
"You were just so scared. I was so worried about you," he said he kissed her temple.  
She shifted in his arms so she was facing him. When she looked into his eyes he could see the worry he spoke of, and she could see the guilt he held. She lifted her arm so her fingers could touch his face, the tips tracing his eyebrows, then his cheeks, then to the pout of his bottom lip. When she moved her fingers away she replaced them with her lips. The kiss spoke of many things, regrets, fear, worry. But as it ended, as Oliver's hands held her gently at the waist and their passion was replaced with soft pecks, they both felt another emotion: hope.  
"You should try and go back to sleep," he said softly as he moved to get up. She held on to his arm firmly, "stay". He looked back at her, her face pleading. He relented immediately, not being able to deny her the comfort it would bring her. As he laid back down he scooped her up and brought her flush to him, her back against his chest.  
"I'm never going to be able to get back to sleep, you know," she said.  
"Try," he said firmly even as he kissed her hair. Within minutes he heard her breathing even out and her tense body relax. Only then did he allow himself to give in to sleep.

}---->

When Felicity awoke the next morning she was still cocooned in Oliver's embrace, his muscled arm around her waist. They were in the same position as when she fell asleep. She reveled in the feeling of his strong body behind hers, and was surprised that this was the safest she had felt since before the attack. She was also surprised at the light that was streaming through the window. It wasn't the early morning light she expected, it was sunshine that came from deep into the late morning. She shifted to peek at the time. The clock on her night stand shown 9:52. It was the most she'd slept since before Oliver left. In her surprise, she didn't hear Oliver wake up behind her, "sleep well?" His voice was groggy and thick but it made her feel warm inside.  
She turned so she was lying on her back, "I'm shocked that I slept so late. I might have just doubled the sleep I got this week. I don't even think I moved once. How about you?"  
"Best sleep I've had in had in eight years."  
Felicity turned her head to look at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn't being facetious and it made her heart swell in her chest. She gave him a small smile and he returned it with a wink. Then he leaned in to give her a kiss but she ducked out of the way.  
"Wait, wait, wait. Morning breath!" She said as she closed her hands over her mouth and looked at him with big eyes. He grinned at her, rolling his eyes.  
He shuffled out of bed, "I'm going to take a quick shower". It was something she had to do after her nightmares, otherwise she couldn't mentally rid herself of the feeling of their hands on her. She'd feel more confident with Oliver if she was feeling more fresh anyway.  
"I could make some breakfast," Oliver said, sitting up against the head board.  
"Unfortunately I don't think there is anything to make it with in my fridge," she said distractedly, grabbing clothes out of her dresser, "the best I have is coffee."  
"Coffee it is."  
Felicity grinned and walked into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth thoroughly and got in to the shower. She set the spray as hot as she could stand it, another part of the routine. In her mind it was like the water was burning any lingering evidence of the attack. It seemed particularly clear in her mind today, perhaps because of the vertigo she was exposed to. After the initial burning feeling it felt good though, it helped loosen her muscles and relaxed the tension in her back.  
She shut off the spray and proceeded to get dry and put her clothes on. This was always the part of the morning that was a challenge: putting on her bra. The bruises on her back were still very tender and reaching behind herself to do the clasp was very painful. Just as she put in on and reached behind her, Oliver knocked on the door.  
She took a quick intake of breath, the knock startled her, and her back was already protesting.  
“Felicity, are you ok?” he asked, the door closed between them. She tried again to button the clasp as he spoke.  
“I couldn’t find the coffee filters…do you need help?”  
She was ready to protest when she hissed again. Oliver, with his super island groomed hearing heard it, “Let me in.”  
Her face flushed. She grabbed the towel she had dried herself with and covered the front of her torso, and reluctantly opened the door. Oliver’s face was surprised for an instance, but he schooled his features quickly, “What’s wrong?”  
Her face was a brilliant pink now, “The clasp gives me trouble, ever since the…really it doesn’t matter, I have plenty of clothes that I don’t need to wear a bra with…”  
“Felicity, turn around,” he interrupted her ramble. She gave a frustrated sigh and turned for him looking straight ahead at the shower curtain, silently thanking her decision to wear boy shorts and not a thong. Although it would make for an interesting look on Oliver’s face…  
She stopped her internal babble and was confused because Oliver hadn’t clasped her bra yet. She was about to look behind her when his hand swept over her shoulder blades and back down the center to the small of her back. She closed her eyes at the sensation, it made her shiver. She then felt Oliver place both his hands on the tops of her shoulders and just rested them there. Her hands felt so warm, it was so sensual, and she couldn’t help but think this was pretty much the same position they were in last night at the foundry before they had kissed. That knowledge sent another shiver through her. His hands slipped down her arms and then his lips were kissing the crook of her neck and shoulder. Her mouth slacked open at the sensation and she unknowingly leaned back in search for more. Her blood was humming in her veins with desire. She turned around, and she was instantly disappointed that his mouth was not on her anymore. She remedied that quickly by covering his mouth with hers. He responded immediately and enthusiastically as he backed them out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. The towel was still between them since their bodies were now flush together, her bra still unclasped behind her but modesty wasn’t at the forefront of her mind at that moment. She capitalized on her lack of inhibitions by jumping up and throwing her legs around his waist as he proceeded to kiss and nuzzle the crook of her neck. Oliver didn’t seem to mind, judging from the groan that came throatily from his mouth. He spun her around and bent down, her back coming to rest on the bed.   
But then there was no Oliver above her kissing her passionately, there was another man sneering at her. She sucked in a breath and her eyes blinked to banish the image her mind was projecting. The man was speaking then and she blinked again, “Felicity! Baby? Look at me!” Oliver was panicked above her. His eyes were wide willing her to see him and his hands were gripping the sides of her face.  
“I’m ok, I’m ok…I just, I’m sorry,” she said, her heart beating quickly.  
“You have nothing to be sorry for, I should be the one apologizing.” He leaned his forehead against her own and Felicity could tell that he was trying to keep it together by the way his jaw was clenched. His eyes told a different story, the worry palpable.  
She was back to being self-conscious as she sat up and fixed the towel around her chest.   
Oliver blew out a breath sharply, “I don’t know if this is the right time for this,” he took her hand and continued, “but I need you to know that what I said before I left, I meant it, Felicity. I love you. And I will do everything I can to help you through this. If you’ll have me”.  
Felicity smiled at him and nodded emphatically, tears gathered in her eyes, “I’d like that”.   
He smiled, his emotions more under control. He gestured for her to turn, “I never…”  
“Oh right,” she said turning. He deftly clasped her bra and tapped her gently on the shoulder, “Done. I’m just going to go and make the coffee”.  
“They are in the upper cabinet by the fridge.”  
Oliver grinned slightly, “Right”.  
“Oh and Oliver?” she called back. He looked back expectantly.  
“I love you, too,” she said smiling shyly.   
He paused a beat and nodded serenely. His smile was radiant as he closed the door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Oliver finally found the coffee filters that were hidden in the cabinet. He wasn't sure why someone who relied on coffee as much as Felicity did kept about four items in front of something that should have been way more accessible. He found the grinds, the same kind that they used to have at Queen Consolidated, which he made for himself more often than not. Apparently making coffee wasn't in Felicity's job description.  
He sighed as he smelled the coffee percolating. He had a myriad of thoughts and emotions flowing through him. At the forefront was Felicity admitting she loved him. A warmth passed through him as he thought of it. Of course, he had known that she did long before; someone like Felicity did not do anything halfway, especially when it came to friendship and love. No, he knew that something triggered her to say it back this time. He assumed it was either him almost dying or her being attacked. Still, it was good to hear and made him momentarily forget about the state of Felicity's mind and body. His reprieve vanished as he remembered her back. Last night he had gotten a glimpse of the bruising and injuries, but today, in the bright fluorescent bathroom lighting, he saw how truly horrific her body was damaged. The bruising around her shoulder blades were the worst, which is why she had conceded to help despite her stubbornness. There were tiny scrapes littering her lower back as well. Oliver guessed she was either thrown or dragged on the street. Just thinking of it made his blood boil.  
He honestly didn't mean to come on to her the way he did. It was like his hand had a mind of its own as he stroked down her back. Then he was kissing her from behind, and it just felt so good and so right that he couldn't stop himself.  
It was her reaction when he laid her on the bed that he couldn't get out of his mind. She stiffened so suddenly that when he looked up to make sure she was alright she was staring through him, eyes wide and panicked, the rest of her body stiff as a board. He shook his head feeling guiltily. Of course she had PTSD and her mind was still trying to protect her. He was no stranger to what she was going through and vowed to help her get past it. She would, she was strong and determined, he knew she'd eventually be fine, but at the moment she needed support and time to heal.  
Felicity came out of her room dressed and her hair dried. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "that's probably the best smell in the world."  
Oliver turned back to the coffee maker which was finished and poured her a cup. He then put added three spoonfuls of sugar and a little milk and handed her the mug.  
Felicity looked confused if not slightly impressed, "How do you know how I take my coffee?"  
"I'm nothing if not observant," he said with a wink as he fixed his own mug.  
They sipped their drinks for a minute in companionable silence but then it was time to get down to business.  
"So this mission you guys are working on...can I get filled in?"  
Felicity put down her mug and searched his face for a moment. He wasn't disapproving, only serious and expectant. So she started from the beginning, glossing over her attack somewhat but relaying the connection to the unknown substance and the vertigo and the lead with Arkham Asylum and Dr. Crane.  
"This Crane guy knows who you are and that you're on to him," Oliver pointed out, "and you don't even know if he's working for someone else or what he's trying to do with these drugs. I doubt someone like him would go to all this trouble to just make money off the street."  
Felicity nodded, "I know, it has to be something big judging by the security he has in place. Well, security in the computer science sense. Otherwise there would be no way I would have had that much trouble with that firewall. I'd rather not have another humbling experience like last night." Felicity paused thoughtfully and stared blankly at Oliver, "Oh frack."  
"What? Felicity?"   
"He knew we were coming, or at least that I was on to him. Crane didn't so much as blink when he confronted me. He set that firewall up before hand, and had his defense ready, his exit plan ready. How did I miss that?" Felicity was extremely perturbed.  
"You hadn't been sleeping..."  
"No." Felicity said angrily.  
"You were attacked." Oliver continued gently.  
"That's not why, and even if it was that's no excuse."  
"Hey, hey," Oliver took her hand and intertwined it with his, "you've been through a lot. Even the best of us lose our focus, God knows I have."  
He looked at her encouragingly trying to ease some of the stress she was under. She looked back at him grudgingly, so Oliver continued, "I've made plenty of bad decisions and have luckily had you and Diggle to talk me off the cliff."  
"Are we talking metaphorical cliffs, or the one you just fell from?"  
Oliver's smooth expression momentarily faltered. Felicity felt immediate guilt, "I'm sorry," she squeezed his hand, "this whole thing it just, it got away from me, and now I'm just..."  
"Lost," Oliver finished.  
She nodded, "yes." Her eyes were downcast. She seemed so different in that moment, so defeated.   
Oliver stood up and pulled Felicity up and to him for a hug. Once she was in his arms she took a deep breath inhaling his scent and it helped to calm her.  
"We're together now, and we will figure all this out," Oliver said into her hair.  
She pulled away slightly to look at him, his blue eyes shining and calm, "you're right." She smiled, still not quite believing he was here with her alive, but putting faith in the fact that that was a good sign on its own.   
He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss on her lips and for a moment she was at peace.

}---->

Oliver arranged to have everyone meet at the foundry that night. When they all arrived he couldn't help looking around and seeing how much had changed in the weeks he had been away, especially with Thea and Felicity. Thea looked... comfortable, for lack of a better word, in the lair, and he was still trying to wrap his head around that. His baby sister was never supposed to know his secret, but now that she did, he wondered how things might have been different if she had known all along.   
Felicity. She was still as fierce as she had always been in their mission and in her friendship with the team, but now there was something else there. She had tasted a darkness that he never wanted for her. He knew that she was exposed to the darkness that surrounded him, but it was his. She had her own personal darkness now, and somehow he could see it there behind her eyes. He also saw that she was fighting it. A feeling of pride ran through him. There was nothing she couldn't overcome, he knew that, she just needed time and support, and he knew he'd give her that and more.  
When everyone looked to him expectantly he addressed the group, "It was a little crazy last night so I just wanted to address a few things before we go back to all of that. First, I just wanted to say that it's so good to see all of you," he looked around looking each one in the eye.  
"I'm sorry I couldn't check in sooner, but unfortunately it was too remote for any kind of communication. Ra's, for the time being, believes that I am dead, but that could change at any moment once I rejoin society."  
"Huh, there really are downsides to being billionaires," Roy snarked.  
"Former, billionaires," Thea pointed out.  
"Semantics," Roy replied.  
They both turned back to Oliver, who although was not smiling, had an amusement in his eyes. He opened his mouth to continue when Thea interrupted again, "Why is he after you anyway?"  
"I'll talk to you about that later," Oliver said not knowing how to broach the subject. Thea looked pissed.  
"Really? We're back to that again? Everyone thought you were dead, Ollie." Thea looked around to the others who looked uncomfortable.  
"Speedy..." Oliver said frustrated.  
"No one said..." Roy began but Thea stopped him.  
"I kind of gathered that you didn't think he was coming back," she said glancing quickly at Felicity, who's face was tinged pink, "I think I know enough now to be let in the loop. Besides, I can help you guys."  
"Maybe she's right, Oliver. Maybe we should just try to get everything out the table," Diggle, ever the voice of reason, concluded.  
Diggle's statement encouraged her. Thea stepped forward and took Oliver's hands, "Ollie, whatever happened, I can take it. You don't have to protect me anymore."  
Oliver blew out a long breath. He didn't want to hurt his sister anymore, but now he was going to either way, either by lying to her more or by telling her what she did. However much he wanted to save her from that knowledge, he decided the truth was the best course. He looked at Thea and reluctantly told her, "I went to protect you."  
Thea was confused, "Why would you have to protect me?"  
Oliver told her everything, Thea listened and everyone else cringed around them. Thea had to sit down when he informed her that she was used to kill Sara. He tried to impress upon her that she had no control over it, that it was Malcolm looking to escape Ra's. And she understood, she did, but it didn't make hearing it any easier, or her anger any less hot.   
"It's still my fault, if I didn't let him train me..."   
"He would have probably killed Sara himself," Oliver interjected.  
"But at least then you wouldn't have nearly gotten killed!"  
This time Oliver took her hands, "Speedy, I'm fine, for the moment we are safe, and we will deal with all of this and Malcolm. For right now, we have other issues."  
Thea nodded and stepped back and into Roy, who put his arms around her in a small attempt to comfort her.  
"We'll figure out all that stuff later, but right now we have to focus on what you guys started with Crane. We have to clean all of that up especially because he knows Felicity was looking into him". Oliver turned his attention to Felicity, "Could he have traced anything back to the foundry?"  
Felicity answered back confidently, "No, I checked our firewall and its solid. From what I have gathered, he's not a computer science mastermind or anything, he just has incredible cyber security in place. Someone set them up for him."  
"Which means he's not acting alone in this," Diggle added. Oliver and Felicity nodded.  
"But how did he know you were investigating him? Wouldn't he have had to catch you snooping?" Roy asked.  
At that question, Felicity turned to her monitors, typed quickly, and looked back chagrined. She moved her chair so everyone could see.  
On the screen was the seminar invitation reply, "I used my real name and credentials to attend the seminar."  
She watched as Diggle pinched the bridge of his nose and Roy clenched his jaw. Oliver and Thea just looked at her with expressions seemed very close cousins of pity.   
That set her off, her sheepishness forgotten, "It didn't occur to me that he'd put two and two together when he was investigating the Count. It's not like we went into this half cocked or anything, we planned this and it was one dumb mistake. You guys make mistakes all the time..."  
"There's no need to get defensive, Felicity." Diggle said calmly, "Like you said, it was a mistake, one any one of us could have made, and it's understandable considering everything you've been though."  
She wasn't sure whether what Diggle said made her feel better or worse. She got up and started walking towards the stairs, "I'm just going to get some air, I'll be back in a minute." 

The door closed with a resounding slam behind her as she breathed out into the chilly air. Now that she was away from everyone, she didn't know how to feel about anything. Indignant, embarrassed, oh and don't forget tired. She was still so very tired. She wondered when she'd feel normal again, or if that would ever even happen.   
The door creaked behind her and she flinched back slightly on alert. Oliver slid through the door and closed it gently behind him, "Hey."  
"Hey," she said back. She looked at him briefly, and then found that she couldn't hold his gaze. So maybe embarrassment was at the forefront.  
Oliver tilted her head back up to look at him, "No one blames you, they're just worried about you. You know that right?"  
"I guess it just didn't feel that way," Felicity said back dejectedly.  
"That's probably because most of the time you're used to being the smartest person in the room."  
She rolled her eyes at him and he chuckled, "Its true. And when you're not, you work extra hard to be what people need. But this time that didn't work out for you because you got so caught up in what you were doing that you didn't take care of your own needs and you slipped. What Dig said wasn't to placate you, it IS understandable considering what you went through. You're not a machine, however much you think those computers are your babies."  
She smiled softly at him, "I don't remember you being this insightful or reasonable. When did that happen?"  
"It probably started when I asked for help with a bullet ridden laptop." He gave her a heart warming smile that made her blush.  
"Smooth." Her voice was teasing and light. She marveled in the way he could make her feel so much better so quickly.  
He winked and gestured to the door, "Come on, we've got work to do."

 

C


	11. Chapter 11

Felicity felt more at ease when she reentered the lair and strode past Diggle with Oliver a few paces behind her. When she sat down, she eyed Diggle and Roy apologetically, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so sensitive."  
Diggle winked back at her while Roy responded, "at least you never went ape on anyone with miracuru in your system."  
"What's miracuru?" Thea asked, her nose wrinkling.  
Felicity sighed, "we really need to supply new Arrow members with an appendix."   
Oliver regained their attention once again, "Felicity has informed me of what you guys have encountered with Crane, the vertigo reintroduction and some of her research. What I suggest is that we do some more recon tomorrow, no engaging anyone, just to see what else is coming down the pipeline. Felicity is on Crane's radar now so she's going to be staying at the loft."  
"I am?" Felicity interjected.  
"No arguments. Until we know more of what is going on and who else is working with Crane, you're not going to be alone." He looked at her firmly. She signed resigned.  
"I agree with Oliver, Felicity. It's not safe, especially with so many unknowns," Diggle added.  
"Agreeing with Oliver," Felicity stated surprised if not slightly impressed. Oliver managed to not entirely show any sort of smugness. Diggle caught the portion that leaked through, "Don't get used it."  
Oliver cleared his throat and continued, "Tomorrow, Roy and Diggle, we'll meet here and go from there."  
"What about me?" Felicity asked indignantly, looking from Diggle to Oliver. She wasn't used to being sidelined.  
Oliver turned to her and brushed his hand against her shoulder, "I think you're owed a day for rest. Thea will stay with you." He looked toward his sister who nodded dutifully.  
"Great. Can't stay in my apartment, Dig's agreeing with you and I'm being babysat, not sure how this could get much worse," Felicity snarked. She tried to keep her tone light despite her morose thoughts.  
}---->

"Here we are again," Felicity said as she entered the loft behind Oliver and Thea, her suitcase rolling in behind her. Apparently everyone thought she would be staying awhile. She looked around apprehensively. Something about this place always elicited hesitance and awkwardness for her. As she crossed the threshold, Oliver extended his hand to her and she took it gratefully. At least this time she didn't feel so alone and hopeless, this time she had Oliver with her, and Thea was much more in the loop. Those were definitely weights lifted from her shoulders. What she couldn't seem to get past is why she was here in the first place. She felt helpless now, which made her angry because she had never felt that way about herself. Ever since her attack, it was like there was piece of her hiding, and it bothered her immensely.  
Oliver could sense her mood. Her sarcasm in the lair had not gone unnoticed. As if the attack, or the mission debacle weren't enough, now she was beating herself up. It hurt him to see her so unsure of herself, it was so unlike her. She had always been so sure, so true, and now...  
As Thea went to her room to change, Oliver turned around to put his arms around Felicity. He made sure to always approach her slowly, not suddenly or jarringly, which put her on edge as far as he could see. But as he wrapped his hands around her waist and leaned into her neck, he felt her relax and let out a slow sigh. He hoped she felt his strength, that maybe through some osmosis or energy he exuded, that it would seep into her.  
They held each other for a long moment, Felicity leaning some of her weight onto him as they embraced. When they finally separated, Felicity was the one to speak, "what was that for?"  
Oliver ran his finger tips along the side of her cheek as he took in her tired eyes, "Just thought you could use a good hug.".   
She rewarded him with a small smile. Oliver again reached for her hand, "C'mon, let's get you to bed." He paused then and he turned back to her, "Do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom? I was taking you to my room, but I don't want to be presumptuous, either is fine, especially if you want your own space..." A slight tugging on his hand stopped his ramble.  
"Your room is fine, Oliver," Felicity said, her tone light, and a smirk playing at her lips.   
Oliver smiled in relief and led her to his room. It wasn't much bigger than the guest room Felicity had stayed in the week before with Thea, but it had some slight personal touches of Oliver's. That alone made Felicity more comfortable than when she arrived the week before with Thea.   
The day had caught up with her and now she just wanted nothing more than to sleep. She felt Oliver take the suitcase from her hand and heard as he placed it against the wall. He was in front of her then, and from his expression, she could see that he understood. All her strength had left her. He led her to the bed and sat her down on the edge.  
"Want me unpack your stuff so you can change?" He asked. She tiredly shook her head. She watched at he went to his dresser and opened a drawer. When he returned to her side he placed one of his grey t-shirts next to her.  
"May I?" He asked softly reaching for the hem of her shirt.   
She blushed slightly but nodded raising her arms for him. He made quick work of her shirt taking care not to prod any of her fading bruises. He then reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Before she could blush further, he reached for the spare shirt and brought it down over her head. As he brought her arms through he caught the bra's shoulder straps and fished it out from under her shirt, keeping her modesty intact. Everything about his movements and attention to her were careful and extremely gentle. Part of her wanted to feel indignant that he was treating her like she was made of glass, but all she could feel was thankful and cherished. After he helped with her shoes and socks he urged her to lay under the covers. "I'll be right back," he whispered and disappeared into the bathroom. She stared out the window, her body feeling as if it was anchored down, yet her mind was buzzing, almost incoherent with thoughts, some of which included being in Oliver's bed. Others swirled about the mission gone wrong, and what the team was going to be up to without her tomorrow. Her eyes fluttered closed, too heavy to stay open.  
The bed dipped behind her and Oliver's arm snaked around her waist to rest on her stomach. The comfort of his body heat and feeling of protection were the final components needed to lull her into a deep sleep.

When she awoke the next morning her lids opened to incredibly blue eyes. They were facing each other, his arm tracing light patterns on her hip. She swore in that moment that she's never get used to their new dynamic or how beautiful Oliver was. She knew beautiful was a strange way to think of him, but as she stared into his eyes she saw everyone thing he was. She saw his strength, his compassion, she saw everything he endured and how he was still alive and sane and with a heart of gold. She saw all of that and more shining out of his eyes. He was beautiful.  
"I'm not used to you being so quiet," he said finally. There was a worry behind his tone.  
Her voice was still thick from sleep as she replied, "A lot has happened. I don't know if I'm caught up with it all. You and I for example."  
Oliver thought for a moment, his expression changing a couple times before he decided how he wanted to respond.  
"In the past, I've always thought that keeping myself at a distance was a way to protect people. The five years I was away, I did things, and as much as it was to survive, to keep going... The darkness seeps in. It infects. When I came back, I was as lost as when I left, it was just a different kind of lost. The only thing I had was purpose to right my fathers wrongs, and in some way make up for everything I had to do. I didn't trust anyone, and what's more, I didn't want to get close to anyone. Letting people in meant that I could hurt them, but they could hurt me more."  
Felicity didn't know what to say. Oliver had never been so open with her, maybe with anyone like this. She didn't know where he was going with it.   
Oliver continued, "It was true what I said that I never expected you and Dig, I thought I would be doing this on my own. And it was nice to have help and companions. But you, I knew you were more, maybe not completely at first, or maybe I did. I just knew that being close to you would be dangerous for both of us, physically and emotionally. So I hid and placed boundaries. But you, you're so persistent, that after a while they began to fail."  
"And now?" Felicity asked.  
"They're gone." He replied unashamed.  
"What changed?"  
Oliver blew out a breath, "just what you said, a lot. Everything. Before, I had accepted that I could love you and not be with you. But then I almost died and you were attacked. I realized that we are always in danger, together and separate, but we are still stronger together."  
Felicity looked sad just then. Oliver noticed right away, "what? I thought you'd be happy?"  
"I am, I would be.... I just don't want you to want to be with me if it's just because I was attacked."  
He shook his head and put his hand to her cheek, "Felicity, I want to be with you because I love you. I want us to be happy, together."  
She looked in his eyes and saw the sincerity of his words. She nodded and pushed into his hand feeling his comfort.  
Oliver stroked his fingers into her hair, "I'm done making excuses." He then leaned in to kiss her and she welcomed him. Felicity felt all his love in his kiss, and suddenly everything became real. She didn't have to live in hopes or disappointment anymore. The kiss wasn't about hope. It was about promise. The kiss deepened as Oliver slanted his mouth over Felicity's and his tongue plunged into her mouth. She opened for him immediately and their tongued danced as their embrace tightened. Her hands moved up his torso tracing the lines of his chest as he pulled her close, his hands resting on her lower back, dangerously close to her ass.  
They broke apart breathing heavily, staring into each others eyes, both sets of pupils blown, and irises a few shades darker then before. One of Felicity's finger nails scraped lightly across the deepest scar on his chest sending a shiver through Oliver's body. He leaned into her again, this time his mouth nipping and licking across her collar bone. He kissed his way up to her ear as she hummed her appreciation. He sucked her earlobe into his mouth and scraped his teeth against it as he let it go. "You taste better than I imagined," he whispered into her ear.  
It was the hottest thing that had ever been said to her. Or it would have been if she was still seeing Oliver after his mouth left her ear. But it wasn't him anymore, it was the man that had her held up against the wall in the alleyway. "Where do you think you're going?"   
Felicity's breathes were no longer pants of arousal, they were short panicked gulps of air. She shook her head and shut her eyes and felt the man move away. When she opened them again, Oliver was sitting back away from her on the bed, holding both her hands his face crumbled in worry and guilt.   
She tried to laugh it off as she sat up and regained her faculties, "I'm just a mood killer aren't I?"  
Oliver's expression twisted slightly to anger before he composed his features and his face softened again, "we need to talk about this. What did I do that triggered you?"  
Felicity scraped her fingers through her hair nervously, still fresh from the hallucination, "Uh, when you whispered in my ear I think."  
Oliver nodded thoughtfully, "and this morning?"  
"I think it happened when my back was against the bed and you were on top of me."  
Oliver tried to hide his murderous thoughts, but she saw as they seeped into his eyes. They cleared quickly as he regarded her again, "I'll try to avoid doing those things in the future, if you still want to... But if you don't..."  
"I do Oliver, I want you to be able to touch me, for us to be intimate. I don't know why mind mind keeps freaking out." She was frustrated. "Of course, we're finally together and I still I can't have you, like have You, have you..."  
"Hey," he stopped her, putting his palms to her cheeks, "there's plenty of time for that." He leaned in and kissed her chastely, "when the time is right it'll happen. You have me."  
She nodded jerkily still feeling raw and slightly embarrassed.  
Oliver brought her chin up with his fingers, "Are you ok?" His eyes were still worried.  
"Yeah. Yeah, it's just so real when I get a flash." She wrung her hands in front of her. As she looked up to him, she could see his knowing look. "Did that ever happen to you?" She didn't expect an answer, he was usually evasive when ever he was asked a question pertaining to his past.  
It surprised her when he did, "I would get them every so often when I was away, and for a year or so after I got back. Time helps."  
She could see his eyes get lost in memories and she regretted bringing it up. Just then she could really understand the trauma he had been through and for how long he endured it. It made her hopeful to know that he had come through it, despite how bad it had been, and if he could get past it, she would as well.


	12. Chapter 12

The sun was just setting when Oliver jumped off his motorcycle as he arrived at the foundry. His mind was incoherently swirling and he was full of pent up anxiety and tension he wanted to work out and he knew exactly how he wanted was going to accomplish that.  
He understood that Felicity wasn't particularly happy with being kept away tonight, but it was necessary for everyone, especially her. The last conversation they had before he left played over in his mind.

"I can work from here," she said quickly and enthusiastically as she held her tablet up, "I can be on comms and..."  
It wasn't the first time that day that she had tried to convince him to let her work tonight.  
"No, we have this, Felicity, it's just some recon. You should rest, have some you time, binge some Doctor Who or have a girls night with Thea," he coaxed but he couldn't get her out of her mood. Her mood had been sullen every time he shot down her attempts. He knew it was more serious when she didn't reference his lack of pop culture.   
"Is it that you're having anxiety or..?"  
She shook her head but didn't look up at him, "no it's none of that. It's, I just don't want to be sidelined because of what happened. I don't want you to think that I can't handle it anymore or that you think I'm weak. You wouldn't have me on the bench if it wasn't for what happened." She had that defeated look that he was growing more accustomed to spotting.  
"Look at me," he said tilting her chin up gently, "having you hang back tonight is not because you are incapable or fragile or weak, it's simply because you need some time to recoup and we have everything under control. Ok? Tomorrow you can hack up a storm and we'll start again and make this guy, and anyone else involved, pay. Deal?"

He wasn't entirely thrilled that he had to lie about part of it and it sent a shot of guilt through him.  
He made quick work of descending the stairs and saw that Roy and Diggle had already arrived.  
Roy was ready to get down to business. "So where are we starting this, with Crane, or we going to do some digging around town first?"  
Oliver walked past them and stopped in front of his suit which has sat untouched in the case for a little less than a month. He turned back to his partners, "we aren't doing recon tonight, not exactly".  
The other two looked around rightfully confused. "So what are we doing, Oliver?"  
"We are paying a visit to Felicity's attackers."   
It was why he was so adamant that she had to stay home. He couldn't look at her knowing that the people who hurt her were still out there, possibly hurting other women. If the looks on his partners faces said anything, is that they whole heartedly agreed. Oliver knew that Dig regarded Felicity like a little sister and that his protectiveness of her ran deep. The two of them had bonded in Oliver's absence almost two years ago and had been close ever since. But the expression Roy had on was similar if not identical to Dig's.   
Roy noticed him staring for a beat too long and responded, "I know I'm not as close with Felicity as the two of you, but this needs to happen. Trust me when I tell you that the image of those guys holding her down will be burned into my memory forever. If it was you instead of me that night, those guys would-"  
"They'd be begging for death." Oliver's words were chilling and the tremor that coursed down his limbs only solicited his resolve on the matter. He pulled himself from his dark haze and regarded his partners again, "suit up."

}--->

Their names were Lenard Pinker and Douglas Chester. Using their wallets that Roy had attained, they staked out their apartment. They were roommates, how convenient. It wasn't long after they arrived that the two would be rapists were on the move. Oliver had to restrain himself from doing anything when they exited their apartment. Although this mission was mainly to get revenge for Felicity, it was also to find the dealer of the drugs. He told himself to be patient. His time would come. An hour later they arrived at the meet site they had tracked the men to. It was an alley between two warehouses in the Glades. The alley was wide and littered with several utility trucks which was perfect for hiding and eavesdropping.  
Oliver climbed on to a nearby truck while Diggle and Roy took an around about way to come from the opposite direction. Diggle, who by no means was going to be left out, took his ski mask out of retirement for the occasion. They were in direct communications on the comms and everyone was waiting on Oliver's go, as previously discussed.  
Pinker and Chester were completely at ease as they waited for their dealer to show.  
"So next Friday," the darker haired one said, Chester, "should we try that place Verdant again?"  
"Naw, man, don't be stupid. That kid knows our faces, and we still don't know if he has our wallets or not."  
"Lenny, I'm telling you, they must have fallen out during the whole thing. You don't think we wouldn't have heard from any cops already?"  
"True, true. Still. We'll go back there in a few weeks. Hold on, I see him coming."  
Chester turned to face the man coming down the alley.  
Oliver quietly spoke down the comms, "after the trade, we'll let them separate and then I've got the scum bags, you guys get the dealer."  
"Your not going to save any for us are you?" Roy asked, a pout in his tone. If the subject matter had been any different, Oliver would have smirked. "Let's see how fast you take down yours."  
"I guarantee you, this will set records," Diggle promised.   
Oliver turned his attention to the task at hand. The three men spoke cordially albeit briefly but it definitely appeared that this was not nearly the first or last time they intended to buy drugs off this dealer. Oliver fumed as he thought of other potential women that had been hurt like Felicity had been, possibly even worse. He decided to shut out their conversation from his mind or there would be no chance that he would keep them alive.   
As they finished the sale, the three men shook hands and the dealer was promptly on his way. Once he rounded the corner, Oliver sprung into action. He jumped from the roof of the truck directly in front of them and landed in a crouching position, fighting to get his emotions under control. Pinker and Chester were startled as Oliver straightened quickly, nocking an arrow even before they had a chance to process what was happening.   
"Leonard Pinker, Douglas Chester, you have failed this city."   
Oliver's voice was not scrambled by the voice modulator, nor was it the loud "grr" voice that Felicity had come to call it when he was in the character of the Arrow. No, the voice that reverberated in the air was low and chilling. He didn't yell it at them, he said it almost softly and patiently as he pointed the tip of the Arrow at them, alternating between each of their hearts.  
"We didn't do anything, man," one of them said, Pinker. They were panicked and desperately seeking an escape route but their fear held them in place.  
"Do you call drugging unsuspecting women and then defiling them, nothing?" He anger peaked at the end of his statement, as he shouted the last word.  
"They were all sluts, they were looking for it, they had it coming...AHHH!" Oliver ended Chester's statement with an arrow straight to the thigh.  
Chester fell backwards, his back roughly smacking against the factory wall, clutching his bloody thigh and screaming. His friend backed up away from him but stopped and raised his hands in surrender when Oliver set his sights on him. Chester, who had stopped screaming, made to pull out the arrow.  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. I nicked your femoral artery, so if you pull it out before you're close to medical treatment, you'll bleed to death in minutes."   
Chester removed his hand as if he'd been burned. He was shaking in absolute terror.  
Oliver on the other hand spoke very casually, "Unfortunately, from the length of time that you are going to have that arrow in your thigh, you're probably going to build a blood clot. I'm not sure that you're aware of this but, the femoral artery feeds the veins and muscles in your groin. So a blood clot or injury of this nature will probably result in severe erectile dysfunction."  
During Oliver's biology lesson, Pinker decided he was going to chance running away. Before he could even reach the corner, Diggle and Roy were there to intercept him. Oliver's eyes flicked in their direction to see that his partners were giving him equal, if not worse, treatment. That left Chester all to himself. He lowered his bow and put the arrow back in his quiver as he sauntered slowly toward Chester.  
"I'm letting you off easy. The things you have done to innocent women are abhorrent and you are lucky that I haven't done worse than penetrate your flesh with an arrow. I swear, If you ever so much as look at another women in an inappropriate way, I will do more than just weaken your most precious appendage."   
He crouched down next to him and put the slightest of pressure on the shaft of the arrow protruding from his thigh.  
"Do I make myself clear?" He said each word slowly and more menacingly than than the last.  
Chester screamed again, and then nodded jerkily, "Yes... Never again! I Promise!"  
Oliver then punched him square in the jaw, and Chester was out cold on the pavement, "Good".


	13. Chapter 13

The loft was quiet when Oliver locked the door behind him. It was a touch after midnight and despite the subject matter, the night had gone fairly smooth.   
The whole experience still weighed on Oliver's shoulders though. He had never wanted to kill someone more in his entire life like he wanted to kill those men tonight. Oliver had never killed for pleasure, it was always out of necessity, but he doubted he wouldn't have felt pleasure in the deaths of those men. Tonight had taken every ounce of his control. Looking back, he wasn't even sure Diggle and Roy would have objected if he did decide to take them out. It was just another way Felicity had impacted him, challenged him, to be a better man, for the whole team to be better.  
He wasn't sure if he earned himself any favors with Captain Lance, however.

Captain Lance stepped out of the precinct and was mildly surprised by his appearance in the alleyway. He looked over at the supposed criminals that were waiting, unconsciously waiting, to be placed in cozy jail cells.  
Lance gestured grimly to the bundles of joy, "These are a little more banged up than you usually bring them, and that is saying something".  
Oliver had taken a beat to responded, "they hurt a good friend of mine. They are lucky I'm not dropping them at the morgue." He gestured minutely to one, "That one needs an ambulance. He'll bleed out if you take the arrow out."  
Lance wasn't too happy after that.

"You look like you need this," a voice said behind him, breaking him out of his dark thoughts. He had been staring out the window and was unaware anyone was awake. She handed him a glass of wine which he accepted and took a big gulp. It wasn't Anatoly's vodka but it was alcohol, and tonight he desperately needed a drink, "thank you".  
"Rough night?" Thea asked even though she could see the answer written all over him.  
"Exhausting. But productive I suppose."  
Thea nodded knowingly, "Did you kill them?"  
Oliver's head snapped to his sister, "How did you..," he thought a moment and then realized, "He shouldn't have told you."   
Thea waved him off, his tone not affecting her in the slightest, "leave Roy be. You guys have to start keeping me in the loop."  
Oliver took another heathy swig of the wine and a deep breath afterwards.  
Thea persisted, "So did you?"  
"They are alive, regrettably."  
Thea nodded.  
"I'm not sure if I like how ok you seem to be had I answered you differently."  
Thea thought a moment. She took her own sip of wine and made her way to the couch and spoke calmly, "She almost toppled the med table over with how hard she was shaking once we got in the basement. Her clothes were half torn off and there were scratches and bruising already showing with how hard they handled her. After I took off her clothes to give her a shower, she told me to burn them, although I don't even think she knew she was speaking out loud. I gave her a shower, Ollie. And then when we brought her your clothes to change into, she broke down, naked, clinging to me for...I don't know, strength, comfort...until she passed out."  
Oliver listened quietly, his jaw clenched and his thumb and his forefinger rubbing together, his arms and chest coiled and tight. He wanted her to stop talking so badly but he knew he had to hear it.  
"When she woke up she didn't remember anything because of the drugs they gave her until the nightmares started. I thought she was being attacked in our guest room. When she woke up she got sick and cowered in the corner of the bathroom because I wanted to hold back her hair." She shook her head and closed her eyes, seeing it in her mind. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you killed them. Believe me, if you were there that night they would be dead."  
He internally agreed. It made complete sense now why Diggle and Roy acted the way they did earlier. If Thea couldn't bear to see her like that having hardly known her he couldn't imagine how they felt.   
Yes he could. He was feeling it now.  
Oliver sat on the couch next to Thea. She reached for her hand and squeezed it, pouring all his love into the gesture, "thank you for taking care of her".  
"You're welcome."  
"How was she tonight?" He asked curiously.  
"For the most part she was fine, a little put out that she wasn't involved in what you guys were doing. She went to sleep early. Are you going to tell her?"  
"Yes. I'm not sure how she's going to feel about it."  
Thea nodded. She wasn't sure either.

}---->

His room was dark as he closed the door quietly behind him but as he turned around, a light turned on. Felicity was sitting on the far side of the bed looking very much awake. Her voice was quiet as she greeted him, "hey".  
"Hey," he said softly as he approached her, "I thought you went to sleep".  
"Well that was the plan." Her tone was ironic and sad.  
"Nightmares?" Oliver asked as he took her hand in his.  
She nodded. Oliver sat next to her and kicked off his shoes. He rubbed the back of her hand hoping it would comfort her.   
"How was the recon?" She asked. It wasn't the curious way he thought she would ask. It was dejected, as if she were only trying to make conversation. He regretted that he made her feel that way. After everything else, he didn't want to add to her pain, especially after his and Thea's conversation. He took a deep breath.  
"The reason I wanted you to stay home, besides wanting you to rest, was that our recon wasn't on Crane. Not directly."  
"I don't understand." Besides confused she looked on the verge of anger, her eyes losing some of their warmth.  
"We followed the men who attacked you to their dealer," he said swiftly but firmly.  
"Oh." Their was a swirl of emotion through her features at the information as she looked down at their hands again, but anger was now absent. Fear and disgust looks like they were the most prominent, maybe a little embarrassment as well.  
"They can't hurt you or anyone else again." He said decisively, a promise.  
"Are they...?"   
He shook his head, "Lance has them."  
She nodded slowly, still not looking at him. She licked her lips to wet them, "if you give me their names I could..." He cut her off again, "it's already been taken care of."  
She nodded again, trying to register everything, letting it sink in. After a moment she looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes, "thank you".  
He gave her a smile that hinted at how his heart was breaking for her, "You're not mad at all?" He was still uncertain.  
Felicity, always resilient, brushed her tears out of her eyes quickly and put a hand on his cheek, "I know that tonight had to be hard for you, that you were just protecting me. Which is nice. I know what it must have taken for you to use such restraint. And whether it was me or not, I'm glad those guys are off the streets. So no, I'm not mad."  
Her calm encouragement lifted some of the burden of the night off his shoulders. A sigh of relief left his lips and he leaned in tentatively.  
She leaned forward to meet him and their lips brushed together gently. The kiss was meant to start and end innocently and chaste, but it seemed once their lips locked their bodies had other plans. The moment Felicity has scraped her teeth against his his bottom lip, he was done for. A surge of hot pleasure cascaded through his body and drove him to touch her. One of his hands cupped the side of her neck and the other braced against her hip to pull her flush against him. She shifted with him eagerly, his touch having the same affect on her, as she draped a leg over his lap.   
Oliver, still having some semblance of thought, remembered back to last time and improved upon her positioning, hooking her leg over him completely so she was straddling him. Her position on top of him and his hands on her thighs spurred her further. She pulled away from him and immediately pulled his shirt over his head. He quickly followed her lead and reached for her shirt as well. Her arms went up to help him, and when the offending garment was gone, she was naked from the waist up, clad only in sleep shorts. His momentary surprise had him seeking her eyes, but once he saw the lust on her face and her blown pupils, he reattached himself to her again, this time wrapping his arms around her back and his mouth attacking her heaving chest.  
His lips worked from the center of her cleavage to nuzzle the side of her breast, taking little nips and licks as he went. Felicity moaned above him, her nails scraping against his scalp as she rocked her pelvis into his, urging him on. He took mercy on her and finally took her pert nipple into his mouth. He expertly sucked the sweet bud and licked around it teasingly. The act alone had his cock hard and tight in his pants. Her thighs squeezing together roughly against him made him glance up to her face as he switched to the other breast, licking it with the flat of his tongue. Her head was tilted back in ecstasy, her face flushed and her mouth was slack.   
He had never seen her so sexy. All he wanted was to make her feel good in that moment. He replaced his mouth with his fingers and continued to roll and twist her nipple with his fingers as he kissed the side of her neck. His other hand went to cup her center. He grunted when he found her core was warm and moist under his palm which only made him harder. His thumb rubbed circles over her shorts and her pants grew heavier with each change in pressure. He moved his hand and snuck his fingers under the side of her shorts and rubbed again, this time, right over her slick folds.   
Her breath hitched and changed instantly and when he moved his mouth to kiss her lips again, he caught her eyes which we now wide and unseeing. He pulled away, trying to look at her fully when her eyes focused again slightly and she closed her eyes tightly. His hand was moving away from her when she uttered, "Don't stop."  
But seeing the look on her face was like he had bucket of cold water dumped on him and he couldn't continue, "We have to. You're not ready."  
She wanted to argue but then she felt the cold feeling she usually got after a flash and she knew he was right. She nodded solemnly and started to climb off of him but he caught her face quickly giving her a quick peck. He pulled back and they exchanged small smiles. When he released her face he placed her down and she pulled her legs under the covers. He changed his jeans to sweat pants and slipped under the covers next to her.  
He reached over her to turn off the light and pulled her back to his chest.  
"Tomorrow maybe we can trace the dealer and the drugs to figure out who's working with Crane and what they are scheming," he said, with a quick peck to her shoulder.  
"Sounds like a plan," she said sleepily.  
He chuckled softly and put his head down. Both were asleep in seconds.

}----->

Felicity ended up going to work the next day much to Oliver's displeasure. Sometimes she really didn't understand why Oliver and Diggle didn't date. Their opinions on her, however unfortunate, were always incredibly in sync.  
She was tinkering with a glitch in a software program for applied sciences when Ray entered her office.  
She finished typing in the last bit of code and looked up to regard him, "Hey, you've got that face on...Actually, I don't even know that face, I don't think I've ever seen you perturbed, would you say that you're perturbed?"  
Ray's brow furrowed thoughtfully, "Befuddled might hit the mark more closely."  
She pursed her lips, "Hm".  
He gestured to her computer, "Did you see that glitch in the nanite allocation program?"  
"I actually just finished recoding it. I don't understand. what caused it to glitch, I wrote that program myself. Although I was overdosed on caffeine, so I figured maybe I typoed..."  
"I actually don't think either of those things happened." Ray's expression became severe. Another face she wasn't accustomed to.  
Felicity was confused, "Explain that sentence."  
"I thought that the glitch allocated the nanites inaccurately and shuffled them to the wrong praxes," Ray explained, "It didn't. One praxis is entirely missing. That's why is seemed that the allocation was faulty."  
"So what you're saying is that we are missing nanites?"  
"It appears so. That is the cause of my befuddlement."

}---->


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

After work that day, Diggle drove Oliver and Felicity to the foundry. They entered through Verdant's main door and saw that Thea and Roy were already there catching up on some work. As they stepped through the office door there was loud honk from outside. Thea and Roy looked up to see the others but Roy was on his feet a moment after, "that's probably the vendor, I'll let them in". He smiled and nodded to the arrivals and disappeared around the corner.  
Oliver couldn't help the pride that surged through him as he saw his baby sister doing so well in her business. He gestured to the door, "Liquor delivery?"  
Thea shook her head with a smirk, "Actually, I'm installing wind machines."  
Felicity snorted suddenly and Diggle hid his smile with his hand. Oliver glanced from face to face confused.  
Thea rolled her eyes, "I've been getting asked why it's not an every night thing...look it's not important. What's up, Ollie?"  
Oliver's eyebrows were still knit together in confusion but he shook his head and brushed it off, "We're headed down to gather some intel, I thought you and Roy should be informed."  
Thea was pleased, her smile reaching all the way up to her eyes, "Ok. Well let me deal with the installation and then we'll be right down."

As the trio descended down into the lair, Felicity's phone started buzzing. She checked the caller ID as she put her purse down at her computer station, "How's it going, Barry?"  
Oliver and Diggle quirked their respective ears, but otherwise went about their business.   
"Yeah, we're at the foundry," she answered, "um, yeah ok. See you in a bit".  
Oliver turned to her as she ended the call, "Barry's stopping by?"  
She nodded, her lips pursed and her gaze thoughtful, "he said he found something that we overlooked and that it was easier to talk about it in person".   
Diggle walked over, "maybe he found a way to track Crane or whoever else is involved?"  
Felicity shrugged, "could be, but that seems more of a Cisco thing, and I don't think he'd let Barry get away without involving him again. As it is, I'm not looking forward to whatever he has planned for us".  
"Cisco has plans for you?" Oliver asked confused if not a shade protective.  
Felicity switched on the servers and sat down, "let's just say you should consider yourself lucky you already have a code name." Diggle nodded severely behind her.  
Roy came trotting down the stairs and came to stand next to Diggle.   
"Thea will be down in a minute, she's just updating the books," he said.  
Oliver turned to him, "So what's with the wind machines, how did she come up with that?"  
Roy rolled his eyes, "Well you have to thank a certain speedster for that."  
Oliver's eyebrow shot up, "Barry?"  
"He decided on his way in one day, he was going to speed dance, it was really-"  
Roy lost his train of thought when Oliver rushed to Felicity's side. He kneeled in front of her as she stared wide eyed into space, her featured twisted in fear and her breathing in shallow bursts.  
Oliver took her hands, but she snatched them away, still lost in her mind.   
"Give me her phone," Diggle commanded. Roy tossed it to him from the console and a second later music was playing loudly from her phone.  
Felicity blinked a few times and shook her head abruptly. This time when Oliver grabbed her hands she didn't pull away, but rather squeezed tightly. Oliver let out a breath, "Are you ok?"  
She nodded, her face still a bit tight, "Yeah, yeah. I'm ok."  
"What happened? What triggered you?" Oliver prodded gently.  
Felicity licked her dry lips. She was still a bit disorientated but tried to focus on the flash, "um, he, uh... He said we could have danced or something I guess".  
"Just one word gave her an episode? That's... I thought the stimulus would be more than that," Roy inquired.  
Oliver didn't know, she shook her head as he ran a hand up and down Felicity's back, attempting to calm her. He could still see the tension in her shoulders. He turned to Diggle, "how did you know to do that?"  
"I've had some experience with soldiers and PTSD in the army. Something jarring usually grounds a person back to reality, such as a strong smell or taste, or a loud noise."  
"It doesn't make any sense," Felicity shook her head.  
Oliver turned his attention to her, "I think it makes perfect sense, and it worked."  
"No, not that. Me. This! I can understand having a flash from the...physical things maybe. But just a word? Slade held a katana, a very sharp katana I might add, to my throat. Which was probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, but one word gives me a panic attack? It just doesn't make sense."  
Everyone was silent. She had a point. Felicity was always resilient despite desperate situations. Oliver shrugged and tried to reason with her logic, "you were under a lot of stress already".  
As she was about to respond a gust of wind barreled down the stairs so she took a breath and instead said, "hi, Barry".  
"Hey guys. Hey Felicity, how have you been-"  
"You!" A voice yelled angrily and was accompanied by loud clunking footfalls on the stairs.  
Thea marched down and stood right in Barry's personal space as she poked him roughly in the chest, "do you know how much wind machines cost? And not only that but I'm going to have to close the club this weekend to fix the wiring in order to have them installed?"  
Barry's expression was appropriately comprised of confusion and fear, "....sorry?"  
"You better be!" Thea replied and then deflated quickly, "just please, don't do anything cool up there that will be expensive to recreate."  
Barry nodded and cleared his throat, "you bet". Everyone else tried to disguise their smirks.  
Oliver stepped toward Barry after Thea had moved away and next to Roy, "what's on your mind, Barry?"  
Barry's uncomfortable stance changed as he turned his attention to Oliver, "We've found something that could help you with your case". He hesitantly turned to Felicity, "I didn't want to just call because I think this is a lot bigger than we thought it was, which the drugs, and particularly with you."   
Felicity furrowed her eyebrows, "Me? With what, the hacking?"  
Barry shook his head, "No, nothing to do with that. It has to do with how you've been acting."  
Everyone in the lair were extremely uncomfortable at them mention of Felicity's behavior. Barry rushed to continue, "We analyzed the blood sample of when you were attacked, and compared it to the one we took off you when we did the Crane Operation. Both times we found the prodrug that enhances substances taken with it.  
"Ok, so it was probably in the vertigo he sprayed at me." Felicity deduced.  
Barry nodded, "Yes. Which is why we went looking for it with the second sample, but we found something else. Nanites."  
Felicity paled. Oliver looked back and forth from Barry to Felicity, the confusion evident on his face, "Wait, so what does that mean?"  
"I think the reason that Felicity is having the episodes she's having, is not because she actually has PTSD," Barry concluded.  
The room was silent.  
Thea spoke up then, "but, it would be understandable if she did. I mean, she did go through something horrific."  
"It does make sense, but it doesn't," Diggle replied.  
Oliver turned to Diggle, again in question. He was sick of feeling so lost in what was being talked about. His irritation leaked into his expression as he waited for more of an explanation.  
"Most victims of being drugged and sexual assault don't have any memories--"   
Felicity interrupted Diggle, "but some do".  
Diggle nodded, "yes, some do, especially if it was traumatic. Now, here's the thing.... Felicity, have your flashbacks only consisted of your attack?"  
Everyone looked at Felicity expectantly which she noticed immediately. It made her extremely uncomfortable but she answered, "I think so".  
"Hmm," Diggle walked over to Oliver and put his arm up to lead him away. Oliver tilted his head in question but followed Diggle's lead and walked away from the main area toward the stairs. While they spoke away from the group, Barry spoke up once again, "I'm not sure where Diggle is going with this but I don't know how it has anything to do with the Nanites..."  
He didn't have a chance to complete his thought as Oliver and Diggle walked back over. Diggle turned to Felicity, his expression expectant and almost apologetic, "I just want to try something real quick. It's just a theory."  
While Diggle had Felicity's attention, Oliver had placed himself behind Felicity and gently pulled then end strands of the hair in her ponytail. Felicity's breath hitched and her eyes unfocused. Her whole body tensed up taut and she was lost in a memory.  
Oliver rushed to sit in front of her and Diggle scrambled with her phone again, retrieving a song. When it blared throughout the lair, Felicity's eyes refocused and Oliver grabbed her hands desperately, "Shh, shh... You're ok, your safe".  
Diggle looked contrite, "I'm sorry, Felicity, that was my call. I didn't know if what I suspected would happen, but we needed to know. What did you see?" His expression suggested that he already knew the answer.  
With slightly wild eyes, but no sign of anger, she answered him, "Count Vertigo".  
Diggle nodded. He snuck a glance at Barry, who seemed to now understand.  
"It's the Nanites, somehow."  
Roy and Thea looked particularly confused. Felicity decided to try to explain in an effort to distract herself from the fallout of the flash.  
"There were some nanites that we recently discovered were stolen from Palmer tech. If this theory is correct, they've programmed them and are using them in conjunction with the drugs."  
"Programmed them to what?" Roy asked.  
Barry faced him, "in Felicity's case, to use her fears or memories as triggers. They are basically causing her to be paralyzed in fear" He turned to Oliver, "it must have been when they sprayed the Veritgo."  
"So they have to be inhaled?" Oliver asked.  
Felicity answered, "No, but it's a quick way they can administered to the blood stream. They can't be ingested because the digestive acids would eat away at the tech-- so wait, does this mean I don't have PTSD?" She looked hopefully at Oliver, but it was Diggle who answered.  
"You still may, but there is a shot you don't. The only way to know is to get rid of the nanites, if that's even possible." He looked back at Felicity. The tech side of this equation was far past his expertise.   
"It's possible. I'd have to hack the program that was directing them. I can start at Palmer tech to see if I can trace how they were stolen. Barry, did you bring the sample with the nanites?"  
Barry nodded.  
"Why would someone do this?" It was Thea who interjected this time.  
Oliver shrugged, "for a number of reasons, I would imagine. None of them good."  
Felicity stood up and righted her dress, "Well, one thing is for certain, we track this to the programmer, we find who has been working with Crane. I'll get to work."


End file.
